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The negativity is also based in concern. The reality is you be hard pressed to find people who fit into your ideal world who not bring a lot of other psychological issues to the table. Rejecting society is 'usually' due to a trauma of some sort in my experience. Your parents having been unhappy through their marriage was something I suspected. The idea of a commune can be different for different people. More so than the idea of marriage for example. Traditional marriage only involves 2 people, where as your commune could be any number of people. Most here are having enough trouble reconciling their desires with the person they're with and reel at the thought of having to do that with multiple people, I think. The negativity about the is due to concern as well. None of them want your to grow up confused and unable to integrate into society. Though I'm not sure how I feel about that particular view point. I suppose it depends how much socialization the kid would have with societal normals and how much freedom he or she have to make their own choices in that regard. I grew up in an unconventional environment caught between two very different cultures, religious motivations, and values. It was far more "normal" than what you're describing but I still have a really hard time feeling like I belong anywhere. I still have to stretch myself far to understand where other people are coming from and feeling safe or understood by them. My fear for the kid runs along those lines as well as the legal ramifications. Then there's the concern that you want this really badly but you're the only one of your group who ACTUALLY wants it. Which means disappointment for you if the rest of your group decides they don't want it. Do you have a backup plan? Sphynx is right that there's a lot of changes that go on between 18 and 30. I'm 27 right now and while there's still elements for that idealist communist in me, I'm a very very different person. I want you to be happy. San Carlos swingers datingYour boyfriend has been out of work for a few months, and is being financially supported by his live-in girlfriend (when you can afford it) and his parents (when you cannot). Since that shift in financial support from himself to others occurred your sex life has been slacking. I doubt it's much of a stretch to consider he's feeling emasculated and therefore unattractive to you or anyone real (hence the porn). It also makes sense that he would now be curious about those upon whom he was not dependent financially (like his ex). His searching for porn is not what's harming your self-esteem. Rather, his rejection of you is showing that he's losing esteem for you and that's more likely why your self-esteem is taking a hit. Instead of relying on you and his parents, has your boyfriend considered collecting unemployment, accepting a minimum wage job, or researching other ways in which he could become more self-reliant and/or depend on social services rather than on you and his parents? adult chatting
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