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I don't have, but I was fortunate enough to have a truly wonderful step parent. He hasn't been married to my mother in 15 years, but I'm still close with him and he means the world to me. So don't have very much in their life, and here you are, not even her flesh and blood and you seem to have shooting out your fingertips. There is NOTHING that mean more to her than that. I use to work with and teen girls. They are 'challenging' shall we say. But all they really wanted was to FEEL wanted. And teens are rather ridiculously good at reading people. This isn't something you can fake. They know. Make sure she has her own space, lots of hugs and 'we're so happy you are here', and if you have any pictures of her, put them up. I bet she'd be thrill you never stoped thinking of her as part of the family. Not sure if this is an option, but one thing my step dad always did when I was a teen and he was working part time he'd make me a snack after school and sit with me at the table while I ate it. Every day. And we'd TALK. Not 'is your homework done' kind of talk, but really talk about my goals, about life, about history and politics and and, and even about my friends and boys. I know my bio-parents me, but I can't tell you what it meant that this adult seemed to really care and be interested in what I thought even though he didn't 'have to'. Coats North Carolina male for swingerbi coupleI agree with 'stachemeister in that the forms of objectification that appeal to me are be using as a footstool or end table as my partner decompresses at the end of the day quietly getting him off as he reads the paper or being instructed how to get him off as he cooks. Being a tool to help him shed the vestiges of a day and sink into the a quiet and relaxing night. If he can't sleep, providing the means to tire him out. Basiy being a fucktoy or tool to bring about his pleasure. I also get off hard on being forced to maintain the focus of pleasing him while he is groping and molesting me to assume that he's not touching me to please me but to please himself (and that I MUST NOT get off). To me objectification is the shedding of self to bring about comfort to him. It passes the point of doing it for him because he express pleasure in you it's doing it because it brings about his comfort without him ever feeling he even need acknowledge you. Sometimes I've imagined objectification in the form of being used as a game board or a chess table (with the grid painted on my back) for a gathering of his friends Yeah it is all about being brave for me too, trusting someone to do things with and to me that strike me as exceedingly uncomfortable. And then the occasional 'good girl' for the bravery :). And privately being held in a sort of cherished status by him for being brave and shucking self for overcoming fear. Being ed names like 'little fuckpuppet' and 'fucktoy' and being meticulously instructed on how to please him is objectification to me too. men dating
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