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First you have to identify, even vaguely, what the problem is. Then flip a coin to who goes first. It's like a tennis game. The first one outlines the problem. Keep it as short as possible. The other person has to paraphrase in their own words what the first person said, to the first person and keep it up until the first person agrees that the other "gets it right". Then it's the other person's turn to make their case and the first person has to paraphrase in their own words what the other person said until the other person agrees that the first person "gets it right". Volley that ball back and forth for an hour and you both understand the situation sooo much better than a straight forward power struggle to plow your way to the finish line. At that point it ain't over, but it's probably 60% down the road to a conclusion. With that behind you, odds are in your favor that the two of you can find a solution, without drawing blood, that you both can live with. It tugs on your empathy rather than anger. Give it a shot. seeking successful MartiniqueYou have no idea about him? He grew up in a really tough neighborhood where he got in a lot of trouble, the marines were his last at staying out of jail. The judge ordered him to go. In the marines he was "- rat" do you know that that means? He was the smallest guy in the unit. He got his ass beat daily by his DI and anyone that could do it, until one day they couldn't. And they finally stopped trying. He told me the horrible stories. He showed me first hand about the one inch punch. Do you know what a 1 in punch does. You focus all of the power in your body into the first two knuckles of your right hand, pull it back no more than one in and let it go. And he had really good focus and was built like a bull, but never got any taller than 5'9". He could focus and block everything out and do his kata, as if he was in a trance, it was perfect form. Speaking of knuckles, his were hard and oused, and he used them with precision so there were never any bruises visible. He wasn't, he's worse. He's a psycho fucking former, trained to hurt and kill in close contact. So at the time I was with him, nobody was going to hand him his ass much less kick him in the balls. You'd have to shoot him from a distance because he would catch you and kill you. I remember the look in his eyes, they were literally red with seething anger. The day I left I knew I was going to die. Too bad the marines took a troubled kid and turned him into a psychopath. They were supposed to fix him. don't talk to me about being tough, it's all bullshit. discreet encounters
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