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Upon reading some newer posts, I that my graphic depictions were unnecessary, as you are also a survivor of childhood sexual. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I do understand (I'm a survivor myself). One last piece of advice is to stop equating BJ's with. I received extreme praise for my oral skills, but truth is, I hated giving oral. Flashbacks. Revulsion. Severe discomfort. But as with childhood, I'd choke it back and perform. It sucked (what a dumb thing to say duh!). Imagine sitting down to a great meal. You like roast beef, she's a vegan. You keep trying to persuade her to eat meat, and she resents it. You don't understand. You're willing to eat her vegan foods. Why won't she show her for you by eating yours? Sometimes, it's just a matter of taste. don't force your taste on her, or interpret different preferences to mean lack of. Final thought: How would you feel if she performed like I did, if you knew that she felt the same way about performing as I did? Would you press forward, or drop the matter? nude pussy mound"This really hurts me" and leave it at that. Providing you happen to run into her that is. I would stop going to the clubs and find a new friendship pool certainly. The other thing I would do is read, read, read. I've not been in AA but I've attended Al-Anon meetings and the prior suggestions are valid. I'd also read novels, just for fun and to get some distance from this situation. The reality is you are hurting. Not only from the divorce but from a friend that you trusted. Sadly, life changes and you have no control over how others behave. Your control is over your own behavior so make positive changes. Start walking before or after work. Find a place to volunteer at. Change from alcohol to lemonade or juice. Drink more water. Enjoy doing what you want to do but couldn't do when married. Find your own hobbies that don't involve listening to him play music. Read for your own enjoyment. A book take you to a different situation, time and place. Mostly, it change your focus from you to the book, at least while reading. It's all healing and you'll one day be fine with their friendship or relationship. Actually, you might just feel "whatever" when they each other because you'll be past it. Good luck. private dating
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