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Why Can't I Find A Job? A survey of personnel executives at of the Fortune companies provided the following unbelievable but true examples of job applicant behavior. "The reason the candidate was taking so to respond to a question became apparent when he began to snore." "When I asked the candidate to give a good example of the organizational skills she was boasting about, she said she was proud of her ability to pack her suitcase 'real neat' for her vacations." "Why did (the applicant) go to college? His reply: "To party and socialize." "When I gave him my business card at the beginning of the interview, he immediately crumpled it and tossed it in the wastebasket." "I received a resume and letter that said that the recent high-school graduate wanted to earn '$25 an hour and not a nickel less.'" "(The applicant) had arranged for a pizza to be delivered to my office during a lunch-hour interview. I asked him not to eat it until later." "(The applicant) said she had just graduated cum laude, but she had no idea what cum laude meant. However, she was proud of her grade point average. It was." "(The applicant) insisted on telling me that he wasn't afraid of hard work, but insisted on adding he was afraid of horses and didn't like jazz, modern, or seafood." "She actually showed up for an interview during the wearing a bathing suit. She said she didn't think I'd mind." "He sat down opposite me, made himself comfortable, and proceeded to put his foot up on my desk." "The interview had gone well, until he told me that he and his friends wore my company's clothing whenever they could. I had to tell him that we manufactured office products, not sportswear." "(The applicant) applied for a customer service position, although, as he confided, he really wasn't a people person." "Without asking if I minded, he casually lit a cigar and then tossed the match onto my carpet-and couldn't understand why I was upset." "On the phone, I had asked the candidate to bring his resume and a couple of references. He arrived with the resume and two people." seeking a sun seeker
I'd seen the 1st 3 paragraphs of that piece, but I'm glad the Contra Costa Times expanded on it. Here's another, less serious. Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult i be to choose the doctor I want? A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basiy fall into two categories those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry; the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away, and a diploma from a Third World country. Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification? A. No. Only those you need. Q. Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions? A. Certainly, as as they don't require any treatment. Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine? A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment. Q. My plan only covers generic, but I need the name brand. I tried the Generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do? A. Poke yourself in the eye. Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick? A. You really shouldn't do that Q. I think I need to a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office? A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it. Q. health care be different in the next century? A. No. But if you right now, you might get an appointment by then. White Oak West way more than sexNeed a date marine ball? I'm available. american woman
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