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First you said: To say that getting emotional after witnessing a physical assualt on an innocent third party is overreacting is just plain silly. Overreacting is acting. That means acting on your anger. But now you seem to be saying she wasn't acting angry because she was calm. But that's not what you said; you were speaking in the abstract. Why being abstract? Then you bring up this: So in your world repressing emotions is the way to go? You are claiming she was calm so why mention repressing emotions? That doesn't make any sense. I never said: Getting angry, an emotion, is the same as getting violent, an action? I said this: Talking about how you feel is not expressing it, it's discussing it. You would not respond to this: So you agree that getting angry is not appropriate; the way to handle BF is to discuss it rationally without getting angry. Why didn't you say that she was calm and rational then? Because that would mean you agree with me? You can claim I am wrong all you want but I have said the same thing consistently. Getting angry in response to anger or violence is wrong. (I limited my comments to her behavior.) She asked if she was wrong. If she was calm then there would be no reason for her to ask if she was wrong. When someone blows their cool they sometimes question if they were wrong; but no one ever doubts themselves when they have kept a cool head. Having a cool head means you have our intellect making decisions (not your emotions). You said she was lying in another post but you believe that she was calm with him. That doesn't make sense to me. Why would she need to lie here if she is capable of handling a violent BF with a cool head? You are not being consistent in your point of view. swm seeking only 1 s df for fwb real post"I no longer know how to deal with a pessimist. When my positive thoughts are put down so times, I eventually stop sharing my thoughts with that person." Passive behavior. Not avoidance, but antagonism. And when my affections are treated with no response, then I stop that too. Passive behavior. Manipulative. Now he's mad. And blames me. Was it what was mentioned above? I have no idea! Of course you do, that is why you mentioned it and subsequently apologized, almost. I ask why so mad? And told I should already know. He says one or two things, and I apologized. But the conversation results in me having to walk away at his request. Now I talk to the computer. All I can say is WTF? If he would have just come out with what was bothering him, then we could find a solution. But it just doesn't work that way with this person. So how is his anger my fault????? Because you are the antagonist. You are the one offering and withholding communication, emotions, etc. You have an agenda for what you want to accomplish, and it is not merely an observation of events and the passing of time. Answer this question for yourself. No need to post a response. What is it that you are trying to get from your partner. Why doe he/she owe that to you, and when did this debt begin. If the debt is resolved, it begin again? bad girl
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