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Really, girlfriend? You don't think you need marriage counseling, and yet, you're on here because ALL that talking has been SOOO effective right? You guys are hitting a patch that's typical of couples with families not enough time in the day to enjoy your family, and life isn't exactly what you thought it would be. However, here's the difference: You aren't married, and so you feel like there's an "out" clause that you could take advantage of if he doesn't shape up. If you're going to play house, then play it for keeps. You've got a, and that ups the ante significantly. If he has suggested marriage counseling GO. Pick up the phone, get some recommendations (from a minister, pastor or some other trusted person), make an appointment, and just do it. You guys need some help communicating effectively. Consider it your pre-marriage counseling. :-) You've both been talking quite a lot, but I have the feeling neither one of you are LISTENING too well. You might need some help on effective negotiations, etc. A pro can help you both learn how to talk so that the other one HEARS what you are saying. Right now you are both tuning each other out. I understand he works, but I'm with you how hard is it to put a plate away? That's just a bit on the lazy side. Did his mom work? Did she wait on him hand and foot? In our family, if I cooked, hubby cleaned, and vice versa. If I was cooking, HE had care watch, and vice versa. Your fiance' be trainable but it sounds like you've been a bit of a doormat, too, along the way. No way my husband would get HIS feet rubbed if he had been rude to me, belittled my housekeeping and had shafted me with the cooking AND clean-up! What in the hell are you, a geisha? If he's not happy with the state of the housework, then you and he need to come up with a plan that gets it done in a fair and equable manner. Check out for suggestions on housekeeping chores, schedules and techniques, come up with a list that makes sense for you and your family, and come to the table with a plan. He might be working all day, but guess what so are you. Toddlers are non-stop. "Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be." Stop being a doormat and take some proactive measures to improve things before they get too far out of hand. bar tonight and lt3 duhh
I've already said several times that BBUK clearly didn't intend malice. To me, this conversation is about unintended interpretations. You are trying to convince me that because a word is in the dictionary one way, that that is it's only taken interpretation? You and I both know full well that is not the case. People are extremely creative with the way they use language, especially with nuance and. I can't help but think that this is especially personal for you because of your own family connection to cotton, since you've taken the pains to point that out several times and also that your family is not black. Okay. I can this. But that also does not mean that the phrase is used by people to still mean n____. My own family is Greek, but that didn't stop the Klan from burning a cross on their lawn and considering them "niggers" a couple of generations ago. Historiy, skin color is not the only thing that counts as race in this country. It also includes things like country of origin, religion (Catholics got the short end of it for a time here), class, and occupation. I fall midway between your position and ulula's. I do believe words all words have a time and place in which they can be used. Political or academic discussions, fiction, etc. all seem to me perfectly legit places to use powerful words of this sort. But I think we should consider carefully whether we want to throw them around blasely in everyday speech, not even realizing their meaning. Little say things are "-" or "niggerknock" on people's doors and run away without knowing what those words mean, often without intending any malice at all. That doesn't make them less painful to overhear. But one can that when they discover their meanings they have the decency to either stop using them or use them only in thoughtful contexts. adult encounters in Colaboz Texas TXOkay read what you said in this posting and PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH. Leave the alone. He causes NO HARM here, and in fact he seems to keep some guys around who might otherwise be chased away by all the nastiness negativity! And the creepy freaks like me! Leave that boy alone! He is a friend of mine, and NOT BECAUSE HE'S CUTE OR HAS A BIG WHIZZER OR WHATEVER. He's a nice who freely admits he's an exhibitionist, and there are plenty of guys here who are glad he is. Just take your own advice and don't be one of the negative assholes. date a hot teen
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