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Apparently black women don't do it for me. The black culture of hip hop, rap, their personalities, and insecurities just really turns me off. They don't their own people a fair chance, getting suspicious over little things, lack ability to open their mind to new things and accept it. I feel that the constructive conversations I have with other ethnicities is quite refreshing.
However the problem among all races of women with me is still the same. No one gets back to me. Even when they say I'm a good person, they really like me, they like talking to me, they want to hang out..it never happens. I email, message them sending them signals to respond, they never do. I give them space..I still never hear from them again. I want someone that will be my everyday friend and will not leave me hanging. If you aren't interested just let me know, you aren't obligated to date me or anything, just give me a heads up.
I'm also agnostic, a freethinker. I'm looking for someone that will accept and relate to me on that. Just because I'm not religious, doesn't mean I live in sin. I do believe in doing the right things and living in integrity. I bring also intellectual conversations, realistic and out of the box philosophy, honesty, integrity.
PLUSES: if you are expressive, artistic, creative, open minded, playful eccentric, yet still possess a unique spirit, modest, reserved, introverted.
But i'm also okay if you have a fiery passion for being outspoken and unorthodox in which people have discredited you for being crazy, and you've been outcasted.
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ca65 anyone like to Mannheim sex text chatso this was really interesting. i'm no stranger to the concept of bad patterning and i (perhaps obviously) come from a dysfunctional family. before the last two, the men i dated were wrong in a different way, depressed, needy, dependent. so this guy, and the guy just previous they were choices agains't type. a calculated move that i was hoping would take me in a better direction. i wasn't overwhelmingly attracted to either one initially, they were both friends of friends, things started off slowly (for me). although both of them seemed to be really into me fast. both of them instantly wanted to spend a lot of time with me, and do things that seemed a little premature for me. point being, i'm sure that (for me) that whole seeing a person from across the room and feeling that instant 'zing' is a sign of bad chemistry, best avoided. but somehow, these non-zings, ended up being very similar, and worse, in a way. the controlling, my way or highway, game-y type was never in my rotation before the last few years. so i must be putting out a new vibe or missing some real clues. i need to sit down and think carefully back over every first moment where i think "hmmmm, this is odd" with the last guy. they both ended up being so similar, it's uncanny. guy 1 was totally unavailable, never wanted to talk about emotions or fix problems. that's a no brainer, i should have ran from that sooner. But with guy 2, i spent a lot of time getting to know him before letting it get physical. months. and during this time he went on and on about how into communication he was, talking things out, in retrospect, maybe he was just excellent at telling me what i obviously needed to hear. to make matters more complicated, guy 2 knows guy 1 socially, so he even had his own knowledge of guy 1 to maybe use in his favor..if i want to get that cynical. i think this brings me to a new question and that is this things were great at first. super great rapport, it was like we were the best of friends. then one day, some small conflict happened and he just changed. he started picking fights, making petty comments, refusing to communicate or communicating non-constructively (like, i'd point something out and he'd counter with something i did a week ago- smoke and mirrors). this happened with guy 1 as well we suddenly fell into this mode where (- next post) horny mature woman
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