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Here's the thing: You can't just pluck one thing out of the air and pass judgement on your BF's entire financial management without giving us a little more background. If $ is a negligible amount to him, then you don't get to judge. IF he has savings, isn't in debt up to his eyeballs and is generally fairly responsible then he can spend his money any damn way he pleases. It's not your place to "approve" of what he spends his money on, in that case. Do I think $ is silly for a pair of casual sneakers for ANYONE? Sure. I wouldn't pay it, I'm not really a fashionista, but I don't begrudge anyone paying, IF THEY CAN AFFORD IT. (I have to admit, I once saw a pair of Louboutins that completely entranced me but couldn't bring myself to spend $ on a pair of shoes. That's MY choice. It certainly doesn't stop some people!) However, I did pay $ for soccer shoes for my one year he was playing on a club/travel team, and he wears a size 15 hard to find even regular shoes, much less well-fitting soccer shoes (and they HAVE to fit, the way those had to change direction on a dime.) He took care of them, kept 'em clean and even conditioned them occasionally. He appreciated them. Does your BF's appreciate the shoes? Or does he just toss 'em aside like last week's paper? Do a backcheck and make sure that your own financial and romantic history isn't coloring your judgement on your boyfriend's spending habits. You grew up poor. OK, yeah, a lot of people did. Growing up poor doesn't make you morally superior. (Neither does growing up, but that's another story.) I can why you might be nervous, especially if your ex was not fisy responsible. You say that he likes to spend money, but again DOES HE HAVE IT TO SPEND? If you and he co-mingle your finances, then you might want to consider taking a financial management class together, such as Ramsey's Financial Peace (take the 13-week seminar, it's more powerful than the on-line offerings, because it's harder to duck behind rationalizations. :-) It's a great program for getting partners on the same, financially, and helping them organize their financial goals in sensible ways. Piney Flats swinger Piney Flats
Then you need to calm the fuck down. If you cannot be "factual" with her in a calm, adult manner? Then you shouldnt be married and have. She is your wife, not some person to yell at and or do worse. Grow the fuck up, put your ducks in a row, put it on paper as "This is exactly WHY you need a job, our needs some form of daycare." Guess what? They have 3rd shift cleaning jobs. You are home, sleeping, she can work. There are options, you and she need to find them. Unless you are yanking some serious money, most couples cannot afford to have a stay at home parent. Put the facts on paper. Get balance the figures. Then present it. Ask her what she expects to be done. And for fucks sake, you are a, learn to act like one. "I might lose my temper" is a childs reaction. tongue needs some morning lady juicei want a pony, but so far one hasn't appeared. she locked him out bc SHE wanted total control of the marital property ("marital property = half his"), and all of her backpedaling about how there "was an RO, just hadn't been served yet" is bs. she had NO RIGHT to lock him out without an RO or a judge ruling on it him being served. he's on the lease, it's his place, too. had he been evicted? no. now she's bellyaching because she didn't have her ducks all in a row before she surprised him locked him out. too bad. until someone with the legal authority to do so officially told him he was not allowed in the apartment, he was allowed. i don't blame him one bit for breaking in. dating online services
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I have all my "ducks in a row," everything is documented, I realize that I don't need an attorney and have been doing good at representing myself. However, my ex's new hired attorney is a "conflict of interest" since he knows all the details coming from my side and was once a proponent for me. Thanks! married women seeking men LeClaire Iowa Hervey Bay guy would love to get high
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