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that you are overanalyzing the word "settle". It is just a word and maybe if you can change your mindset to the some other word, such as maybe compromise it might help. To settle makes one think in a negative way, in a way that things could always be better. However to compromise implies that you, yourself are getting something out of the situation. And each situation is unique. In a relationship you cannot keep score. So what that he gives on 2 big issues, that does not now mean you have to give on 2 big issues of his. When you are truly in you want to compromise. I understand there are some issue that you cannot compromise on, and we each have our own set of issues. I am still not really sure what the issue is that is giving you so much grief. Is it the smoking? If so like someone mentioned earlier that is an addition and it take effort on his part to give it up. I am more concerned with is to give up wanting to be a parent because you don't want to be one. That is a big issue IMHO to give up. My SO and I tend to agree on all the big issues. However, I am having to learn how to compromise on the smaller issues. a king looking for his queenYou were kind enough some time back to give me a LOAD of information about bikes and riding what to look for etc. I used the information at the time but ultimately decided that I wasn't ready to buy a bike. Back then my goal was to ride to work, but I discovered that I live just too far away to make that feasilble so I dropped the issue. I've recently reacessed my goals and decided I'd like to simply do some day touring with a bike group start out slow, there is a group for beginners and those who have experience but haven't ridden in a time (that latter catorgory would include me.) I went to Recylce-a-bicycle http: // last weekend and got some info. They didn't have anything that would suit me at the mement, but I keep checking back with them. SOOOOOO, finally, my real question: If I buy a bike and am not happy with the seat, which is HIGHLY likely since seats are such a personal thing, it's like buying hiking shoes what makes one person's feet happy is not exactly what make someone -'s feet happy. (I have very very bad memories of saddles that nearly ruined me way-back-when). I've been looking online, and looking and looking and looking and looking till my head is spinning. I found something I would be willing to take a risk on and purchase (from -'s) http: // BUT it's covered in leather which, being a vegan is not an option for me. They have a couple of seats that are covered in vinyl, but they are not quite what I think I need. I don't want to be forced to buy a saddle that is not right for me due to vegan issues. I checked on Vega's site (Vegan athletes/triathlon site) left a message, got a response that was totally and completely NOT helpful, though maybe they tried. Would you know where to look for NON-leather, covered seats. I saw some that had microfiber coverings, but with leather in the back. I need something women-specific for touring that is not leather. Prefer a THIN layer of gel but am flexible on that point. Good sit-bone support for an upright comfortable touring position. I don't know if you have any ideas since you are not vegan, but you sure do know A LOT about biking so I thought by accident/coincidence you might know something about this. Thanks. old sex
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