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What I mean by that is, your writing sounds like you're subject to these forces beyond your control. It's so terribly passive. Your involvement in this organization is going less and less. You stop going because your boyfriend makes a stink. You're trying to figure out what you're doing in this group you won't name. Rather than try to please him and figure out how to get him to stop throwing fits, maybe instead try to figure out how you can get your power back in your life and decide for yourself what groups work for you. girl from fort lauderdale fuckedno, you've misunderstood or i misspoke he suggested the dinner, when the check came i said sweetly are you treating, since were celebrating my last day of class? he said: "No", melted down and dumped me as as we were no longer in public. so, it was not that i offered to pay. it was that my suggestion that HE might pay, made him feel like i was telling him he wasn't doing right by me, like i was complaining about his effort and pressuring him to do something he didn't feel like doing. so then i got the (upteenth) boot, promptly. well played re: "manly" yes, he gets brutish and goes into the cave, i couldn't have put it better myself. a full rmation of facial features and tone of voice and something like: "I'm DONE with this conversation!" which makes me feel about..2 years old. ive been only with him for almost years so its hard to remember any other kind of, i was just at dinner a large group of friends who ALL said they had seen their men cry. i was shocked. this guy has never shed a single tear in front of me. in all these years. i, on the other hand am emotional which he had said he "loves" about me. however, in the heat of the moment, i think it makes him uncomfortable. like he has to "fix it" (my tears) and he panics. last there was a moment where he lost his composure and snapped "Stop crying!" for some reason that memory ranks high on the bad ones. im making him sound like an abusive father i think another issue is, i dont open up to people much, so its not often that i get an outside perspective on things i tend to deal with privately.. i appreciate everyone who has given me feedback. its a real relief to hear some opinions and not just the same confused voices in my head. couple wants couple
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