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Hi again all, So much has happened since my last post and all for the good. But now I am here on advice for making a smooth transition to the next step. We are spending much more time together both alone and as a family (his mine) and although he and I are ready to make the "move in together move" it is probably just not best yet for the involved. Ok for my daughter who is going into the 8th grade. We have listened to her concerns and wants and we have agreed to wait until next (YIKES almost a whole year) to actually officially make the move. The time probably go quickly anyway as I we both have places (him house, me condo) to prepare. My questions: Ideas on getting everybody (him, me, -) use to the idea of "us as a whole" vs. the ME syndrome that we all seem to share. We all agree this is what we want, but we have also been independant for 7 years now. By the time we actually offiy make the move, I would it if everyone referred to "things" (the house, cars, furniture) as ours instead of mine, his, and hers. Also, if all others feelings were involved in decision making and plans. He and I are already very much working on this one. We sat down with each other's finance over the weekend and make term plans. He and I also discussed what needed to be done to each house and how we were going to get those things done. However, it bothers me very much (even though this is new) when SO refers to "my house" or "my car" or "my -" vs. "our house/car/-" When I bring this up, he graciously admits to understanding and trys harder, but what a ideas on how to ease him and especially our into the "Our/Us" stage instead of the "Me/Mine" stage. Those who know me, this is not a stressor, I am not worried, I have plenty of time to work through all of this. I am just looking for ideas on how to make the transition easier for all involved. I am confident that in the run, things work out beautifully. Just looking for suggestions or ideas to make the transition smoother!! Thanks! adult single ladies Jordan
What is so great about being married? Better Financial Picture The old saying "Two can live as cheaply as one" isn't exactly true. Two do appear to be able to live as cheaply as one and a half persons, though. That means sharing furniture, food, insurance benefits, a car, etc . And, when one person becomes ill, loses his or her job, or needs emotional support due to stressors, the spouse is there to help. This is cheaper too, as in home nurses, credit card debt, and therapists cost more. Married men are more successful in work as well, getting promoted more often and receiving higher performance appraisals. They also work or arrive late less often (Kostiuk and Follman, , and Shaw, ). As for women, white married women (without -) earn 4% more and black married women earn 10% more than their single peers (Waite, ). While some point out that house work for married women (37 hours per week) is greater than that of single women (25 hours), half of that is due to having (South and Spitze, ). Longer Life Married people live longer as well. Single men have mortality rates that are % higher than married men. Single women have mortality rates that are 50% higher than married women (- et all, ). Having a spouse can decrease your risk for dying from cancer as much as knocking ten years off your life. Single people spend longer in the hospital, and have a greater risk of dying after surgery (Goodwin et al, ). Married women are 30% more likely to rate their health as excellent or very good compared to single women, and 40% less likely to rate their health as only fair or poor compared to single women. Based on life expectancies, nine of ten married men and women alive at age 48 are alive at 65, while only six of ten single men and eight of ten single women make it to 65. Married men have better immune systems as well, either from support or from nagging to monitor blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, etc and be at less risk to catch colds (Cohen et al, ) Better Mental Health Married men are half as likely to commit suicide as single men, and one third as likely as divorced men. Widowed men under 45 are nine times more likely to commit suicide as married men (Smith, and Conn, ). brews bbq fun as friendswould you not bring up this matter as part of the divorce? If she owes you money then you should try to get that money in one way or another. Are there material assets, furniture, real estate, stocks? I would include this in the divorce. That is what you pay lawyers for. Let them deal with this issue. Or you could make an agreement with her seperatley and then have it notarized ex: she agrees to pay you /month until it's paid off or something. Why such a short marriage? None of my business, but personally I would ask her for or that debt and it a wash. If she isn't able to cause anymore financial issues for you, then take what you can get and wipe the slate clean. Sometimes you just have to let some things go. Also remember that you can't get blood from a stone! completely free dating
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