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I dated someone awhile back who was incredibly turned on by being choked and slapped in the face, and having her hair pulled. I later learned that she was previously beaten by a boyfriend when she tried to leave him he slapped her, dragged her around the room by the hair and, she said, strangled her with the intent to kill her. (Sorry if this is unpleasant, but there a point coming ) (And obviously, she escaped with her life, and fled that f*cker in San, making it up here to SF.) So I wondered why in the world she would want to incorporate those things into sex play? Well, pardon the amateur psycholoanlysis ('I'm not a shrink, but I play one on TV '), but my theory is that she took something terrifying, life-threatening, and processed it by sublimating it into an arousing sexual experience with someone she trusted, in a safe consensual setting. So in fact, this is a broader question about corporal punishment in general for instance, the way it was posed below by whoever said it's more exciting to have spanking (or whatever) administered as 'correction' for specific 'infractions' (with which I whole-heartedly agreee, btw :-). I wonder whether the masochists and subs among us (and I've been on that side in the past) crave punishment and other forms of correction becuase in essence we are seeking either to expiaste some real, deeply-seated guilt, or to process with sexual release some specific frightening or unpleasant event to whatever degree we are or aren't consciously aware of it. So I guess, put another way, if you were hurt or embarassed in the past and it was NOT YOUR FAULT you can 'own' it and take back control over it by processing iit with a lover under negotiated conditions. Get it? So in that light, maybe the question is, does the sub's for punishment, correction, etc., stem from something bad done to her/him, which was out of her/his control, and and a need to possess it take it back, in a sense by reprocessing it in a setting in which she/he is surrendering control? And if so, isn't that a fascinating paradox? :-) ~Z. mature chatroulette Rivers Inlet
It is not important whether you are right or some of the others are right about her feelings and intent. The only way that can be resolved is to get inside her head. The red is the lack of communication that seems to exist between the two of you in an almost year LTR. You can say what you like to me but you can not deny the facts. One of the foundations of a strong relationship is communications. Even if you two get back together, if this is not resolved this just happen again and again until resentment sets which most couples never recover from -stories become exaggerated. I am not pointing to blame because there is none to give. The communication problem stem with her or you or the both of you by the way you handle stressful situations. Some close up some run away and other become verbally or more none of them any good because of misunderstandings run rampant. Even if you believe you both have a great communications (fooling yourselves!), one of the only reasons someone not be talking is that they are considering opting out of the relationship it says there are problems in your relationship that can not be changed without communications. Your talking about change tells me that is a point of contention here. Not saying you are the problem or not the problem or that her expectations be unrealistic .but these are areas that need to be discussed and agreements must be followed with an accountability set up. If you two can not abide by this without resentment of unfairness then you two have a. If these feelings do come up you two must have a way to communicate this without hurt feelings being developed. There is so much more to this that some serious reading is ed for. You both have to have the trust (another foundation) to feel you can say anything to your partner without fear. What others think when they think of trust is not the trust I am speaking of. Active listening is also lacking, the other side of the coin of communication! i need a blow job would you be up for ityou as a parent must have seen signs of how he has been acting from day one. From what I have read it depends on the and how it was handled by the parents -but yes it can be from the divorce. try to hide the hurt from the parents, in their way they are trying to protect the parent(s). Some even believe they were the cause of the divorce. Also you say the father has remarried with 3. When he is there he not feel that he belongs -the 3 belong there but he is only a visitor without any real connection -in his mind. It does not matter what you say to him it has to come from actions when he is there -so much time has elapsed. The father be -my goodness with 3 new not have the time to spend with his/your -! He not even realize exactly what it is, only that there is something missing. Not much detail provided but from my own reading on the subject, it does have a profound effect on their minds. Remember from their point of view all that they knew of the world came from the both of you -that world in a blink of an eye was turned upside down. That is why of divorce turn away from religion. If the whole world- "their parents" -that they trusted and believed in is no longer true how can they have in a God they can not. Interviews on of divorce who now have themselves -who from all outward appearances are success stories have spoken of feelings buried deep in them that stem from their parents' divorce. So the answer to your short question is -it is possible! The only question is to what degree they are affected. Some studies have show that from unhappy marriages faired better than most of divorce. EXCEPT those that were involved in physical situation. don't get me wrong, I don't know you and I make no judgements I am responding to your post for the sake of your. No guilt or blame should be taken or given, just move forward the best you can and keep giving him he needs to be reminded of that fact in actions and words. But every situation is different and there be other factors at work. Good luck I feel for you -I have ones also -it worries me but that is good since it keeps me on the high road in all my dealing with all those involved. mature horney
fucked kunze San francisco actually, I am a LOT of a seeker and I find myself on a spritual quest. I have studied lots of different religions, tried some on . left most, am finding my own way, my own path to enlightenment. Currently, I am reading Neale Walsch's books and finding them extremely interesting. He shares a view that all our emotions stem from really only two places . fear and. That really hit home with me today, as I can sense someone I care about starting to get involved in a romance (we don't talk or as much, just short clips here and there and much less personal, basiy one liners). My initial reaction was just to cut the cord, be done, go on . I thought of it as simply my loner side, don't need anybody take care of yourself, etc. Actually that is a place of fear.. fear she won't want or need my friendship any longer when I should be coming from a place of . being happy and excited for her, continueing to give and be open. I am a way from enlightment, but I am looking and I have less and less fear in my life. Explore your world. professional seeking bbw
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