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on guaranteed safety of a. im still confused what the problem is, sounds like its in the bag. my is two years old and still hasnt ever been tucked in at night by any male unsupervised. im probably a paranoid parent but i also havent known for six years either so our situations are different. also havent allowed any to be with unsupervised. this is to say i can empathize with both the OP and with the father. sadly if people want full control over who is around their they should be married and have custody of said. he wouldnt have this problem in that case. but no amount of money is worth changing my custody situation and knowing my is safe at all when he goes daycare pop up randomly on them motherfuckers:) im encouraged by those who first and then have, it really is good for them. OP do as she wishes, the logic of her "not knowing someone until you live with em" doesnt make sense. if you dont know dude shouldnt "find out" with the there. but not to nitpick this can get very ugly there are mediators who would to counsel and assist her and her ex, there are lots of free lawyers but the best solution is still to be respectful and good to each otherr for sake and pick your battles. its okay to not believe in living together before marriage but that isnt really pertaining to the law. all they care about is what is in the childs best interest and what is written in the terms. if both parties change the terms the court uphold it, if they dont agree the father can ask for lots of things like cps home studies, drugscreenings, therapy etc and ultimately custody but sounds like OP need not worry because her relationship with ex is non adversarial married woman in Ofonsi(Of course.) Actually it's not like there are *crowds* of lovers floating around, so this is possible ;-o Also in this case there's a BDSM element, so the people involved are already tuned to making multiple relationships work. A fair amount of negotiating about expectations happens up front. That's one thing I've found very freeing about poly it's not only acceptable but expected that you're going to have those What Is This Relationship talks that seem to make people crazy in non-poly world. If you're interested, this is a really good piece about poly and dealing with the strong emotions it brings out. It's good relating info for anyone, I think, poly or not! cheating women
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