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fuck local girls 98944 (apologies to those who already know this story) it was when I lived by myself way out in the middle of the desert, up a 5 mile dirt road (ing it a road is a stretch) the went up a huge mountain and that road led from a small 2 country road, 20 each way on that road to anything resembling a town. Easily 5 to the nearest ranch by foot. There was no electricity, no phone, no running water. This was in , so remote technologiy too. No one could have driven up the road without me hearing them coming for. It was just me, my dog, and a few rattlesnakes, porcupines, coyotes and cows. Anyway, I was up on a hill above the cabin, doing a (woo woo!) full ritual (woo woo!) when suddenly I heard a woman singing just wordless singing. I freaked out. The next night, I heard the woman's voice, she was crying. I knew all the bird and coyote sounds well by then. It was a human voice. Make of that what you. There was a tribal burial ground on the side of the ridge above where I was, I have my own theories.
need a blk girl into wm I'm trying not to repeat myself over and over, trying to hide how shitty I feel, because I know it just push him away, or throw dirt in the face of what he's currently expressing to me. I really wish I weren't like this. :/ All I can do is "fake it til you make it," it seems like. All I can do is just act like everything's as it ought to be until it is. I'm just afraid I'll never let go, never be able to believe him for an extended period of time. And that it come up someday in an argument, try as I might to avoid that type of thing. It's a flaw of mine, dredging. :( Last night when we had sex, he wanted me to mount him and I couldn't bear the idea of doing so. I couldn't bear looking at him while crushing him with my weight and being "in control." I just don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I know all the right ways to tell OTHER people to confront and overcome these feelings, but when I tell myself these things, it all rings so hollow. I guess I just can't get away from myself, and I am my own merciless enemy.
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