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I think you have done the right thing to book a counselor. It sounds like you know to work on the communication, and that both parties should speak about how they feel about the situation. The husband feels desperately inadaquate, enough to snap like that on the job! The feels sleepy, and you feel afraid of giving up your current situation to embrace another. (note to dumbasses: I am aware that I have no knowledge of what anyone feels. This is just an example. Dumbass.) Personally, I would be to death that the would me as a thing he could move where ever he pleased, and once I did make the actual move he would never respect me again and walk all over me. I would make him know that I have thought about it and am somewhat okay with the move, which is why I be making it at all. And that I probably be a bit stressed for the first week while I'm having to tolerate all new things but get to know the good places in the area and have make plenty of friends. I would research zoos, museums, groups, neighborhoods, just stuff around the area, and share with him my feelings, mostly but probably not all positive, about them. Because it really does need to be about you, although I'm all for you supporting your husband like you want to, but your life has got to be at least 50% about you, otherwise it's not your's, now is it. Again, you are on the right track. All the issues here stem from feelings, whether it's him feeling pushed around by his superiors or untapped in his potential or frustrated at routine, or you feeling ignored in the making of a big decision or stretched thin between outer family and husband or crushed at being ripped out of your stability. is frustrated he can't roam where ever he pleases and get into everything and sooo sleepy but wants to more things! (Just ideas, not what they actually feel.) You've already taken steps to resolve, keep it up! :) erotic horny male session w mesquite e dallasI dated someone awhile back who was incredibly turned on by being choked and slapped in the face, and having her hair pulled. I later learned that she was previously beaten by a boyfriend when she tried to leave him he slapped her, dragged her around the room by the hair and, she said, strangled her with the intent to kill her. (Sorry if this is unpleasant, but there a point coming ) (And obviously, she escaped with her life, and fled that f*cker in San, making it up here to SF.) So I wondered why in the world she would want to incorporate those things into sex play? Well, pardon the amateur psycholoanlysis ('I'm not a shrink, but I play one on TV '), but my theory is that she took something terrifying, life-threatening, and processed it by sublimating it into an arousing sexual experience with someone she trusted, in a safe consensual setting. So in fact, this is a broader question about corporal punishment in general for instance, the way it was posed below by whoever said it's more exciting to have spanking (or whatever) administered as 'correction' for specific 'infractions' (with which I whole-heartedly agreee, btw :-). I wonder whether the masochists and subs among us (and I've been on that side in the past) crave punishment and other forms of correction becuase in essence we are seeking either to expiaste some real, deeply-seated guilt, or to process with sexual release some specific frightening or unpleasant event to whatever degree we are or aren't consciously aware of it. So I guess, put another way, if you were hurt or embarassed in the past and it was NOT YOUR FAULT you can 'own' it and take back control over it by processing iit with a lover under negotiated conditions. Get it? So in that light, maybe the question is, does the sub's for punishment, correction, etc., stem from something bad done to her/him, which was out of her/his control, and and a need to possess it take it back, in a sense by reprocessing it in a setting in which she/he is surrendering control? And if so, isn't that a fascinating paradox? :-) ~Z. single black female
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