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Funny story i thought i would post- earlier this week myself, my SO and two of our good friends went to a dive bar for a drink after a softball game. we were there having fun and this doofus starts saying inappropriate things about my SO. I told him to let it go and get over it (she was being too loud for his taste) so this guy gets in my face, and i tell him to chill out cuz i don't fight with people- i have better things to do than sit in jail or nurse head wounds etc. This guy was intent on proving his masculinity (he was about 6" taller than me) and kept coming at me defaming my SO- so i puffed up and told him to sit down and watch his mouth. his (about 4" taller than me) stands up and instructs doofus #1 to "spit on them" and thus, this ass spit in my face, and smacked my glasses off my face- simultaneously his doofus #2 has the nerve to spit in my SO's face!. I took a flying leap at both of these guys, landing my fist in doofus #2's left eye, he falls and is taking my down with him, so i lock him in a headlock and land 3-4 more to his left eye. I look up seeing where doofus #1 is and where in the hell my friends were only to doofus #1 in full swing with his fist going for my face! 'm screwed. where the hell are my friends? I couldnt turn away fast enough to not get hit so i just waited for it, and out of nowhere the future Mrs. Shamus jumps over me and clocks this guy in the side of his head and knocks him back away from me, she then turns and clocks the guy i was holding (i had let him go in the anticipation of getting cheap shotted while on the ground) by the time doofus #1 came too the bar staff seperated everyone. they continued to try and start the fight up again, but i am not going to deliberately put my SO in harms way like that. I am just so proud of her, i mean she NAILED that guy when i was in a pickle, and saved me some hurt. the only people that got hurt were the aggressors, one with a black eye and the other got a concussion from my SO. neither her nor i have ever gotten into a bar brawl before, and i am pleased that we had eachothers back, i protected her and she protected me (my "friend" saw what was going on and decided to go pay his or some BS) we went home and had the best sex for about 2 hours after that- maybe i should have thanked them for the trouble hot women looking for sex Harlingen
I agree with F_ADuck, you need to find a format to express your needs. Right now you are in a co-dependent situation, and you are carrying the burden. Somehow you need to start being who you need to be, and to vocalize your needs. Hopefully you can do this in a way that your spouse can understand without the spouse triggering off a panic reaction. I agree that a counselor can help you find YOUR VOICE in a manner that your spouse can hear it. It's better to do this, than to let the frustration build up to a point when you feel you have to get out. Hopefully you'll find a middle ground. russian girl on redlineYes we have only been married for 3 years. What does that have to do with anything? It's all relative. What if we were millionaires, would our marriage length still matter? I have suggested counseling and attempted to reconcile our differences but she is unable to even face me at this point and has acted very cold and distant. She is playing the victim card and not complied with the ground rules that WE established. Not to bore you with the details but we both agreed not to involve our families in how we divide our finances, it's simply not their business. Yet she ed my sister last week demanding a financial plan from me and ing me crazy. Also, she stated at the beginning of our separation that "we not other people", yet she has admitted to getting involved with another guy but according to her "nothing has happened". Our marriage was a double standard that worked in her favor. I want to be prepared and I appreciate the comments and ideas that have been suggested here. I'm sure you are right about her having a price (I took that as sarcastic and rude) but if she is unwilling to communicate or share her thoughts on dividing our assets I have to assume she is going to move forward in a self-serving manner. This way I am protected. I've read a lot about how men are disadvantaged in divorce settlements simply for being men. Her retirement fund I was referring to is a ROTH that we contributed to from a joint bank account. ROTH -'s are taxed up front as oppposed to a k that I have through my job. So whatever the current value when she withdraws it is completely tax free. My K which came completely out of my salary pre-tax be taxed at my retirement age and as we all know taxes aren't going down. So not only does she want part of my k that never touched her paycheck, she is trying to protect the value of her ROTH that we BOTH put money into. I've suggested we just it even because of tax implications. I've been told by a lawyer that the difference in the principle value of the mortgage at the time of our marriage and the time we divorce is what should be divided. @Revamped your comment about it being a rental is a little one-sided. Why should I lose everything that I put into increasing the value of the house and home equity while she keeps all the proceeds if she were to sell the house? relative dating
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