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I think it fulfills a persons need to feel that they are powerful and can effect someone. If someone was a loser before you met them and they improved in life you can attribute that to them being with you. logiy or not thats how humans rationalize it. If they are already a well put together person there its no potential for that need to get fulfilled. Thus you are not as attractive to them if they have a strong drive in this power need. This its generally defined as co-dependence. Or having or needing to use someone to get your own internal needs met. Your ex had an early experience that made her feel very powerless so she is doing her best to try and get that need met any way she can. No matter how times someone tells her there is no pot of gold at the end of that road this is that only way she can think of to get the need met. sbf looking4friendship w blk femaleThe thing about D/s is (and I think DG touched on this) is that you can be creative in the way you manifest your own special brand of power exchange. It's YOUR D/s relationship, so you and your husband dictate what you guys do. It's of no consequence to you guys how it's viewed by others, or if it's "real" or "true" or any other bullshit little concepts people around you throw out. (And you meet those people: the "true" Dominant/sub types, who think D/s is only one way-usually theirs. Those people are to be avoided, because they attempt to sabotage and make you feel inferior for their own ego's nourishment.) Start small. Talk about any and everything as it comes along. Talk about how you'd like to act in public. Example: Would he want you to walk a stride or two behind him? Would he want you to sit on one side of him specifiy? Would he want to do all the talking in certain social situations? Would you wear any tokens of ownership like a collar or a bracelet? Would you tell other people? Talk about what you'd do at home. Example: Would certain chores be yours alone? And would he inspect the work? If so, to what level does he want? Would you refer to him by a title or continue to use his name? Would there be decisions you can make without his input, or does he want to know exactly what's going on anytime he asks? Would there be certain things he would want done daily? (Example: Upon arrival home from work, would he want dinner out or at least in progress ? Would he want something to drink? His leisure clothes laid out in advance? Take your daily routine and start imagining how you can shape and retool it to include D/s. I think you'll be quite pleased with the process, let alone the results. wants seduction
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