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the amount of times you said it? You only need to say it but once unless you have new insight which you did not have! I am only judging you by the very same standard you are applying to me. If you have read all that I wrote I was actually attempting to help the in this whole mess -I apologize I did not state that. But I test the waters at times to what the reactions are -so I do apologize for that. But I really try to what the PO reactions are and they tell a far different story. Yes it is a pet peeve that I read some POs actually come here looking for advise while others just come to blow off steam and others come to blow off stem by wrapping their anger up in the pretense of seeking advice but are only here to vent. I have NO objection to either endeavor, venting or seaching advice, but it is a waste of time to read and consider a poster's question but to find out they are only here to vent. Waste of time and effort of others to read and waste effort where there is no to seek advice but justification! i need a workout buddy xperience fitnessAfter I loaded my burden here, I actually felt better because for the first time in my life I realized one of my flaws. Nobody knows I can be sad. And now knowing others really care. Because of my personality, the mask that I built, no one expects me to be sad or feel down but expects me to be strong, excited, animated and the life of the party! I am afraid, now, all of sudden, to say to people, I am sad or feeling down. It would be much easier to say or show this to one person that I could "trust" which I do not have now. If I say I am sad to my family, they not understand because they usually think I am angry which is most likely my mask for my sadness. If I say I am sad to my friends, they not really understand too because they never saw me sad they think I am not being serious. The short therapy I had in in the past, none of them ed on my mask. They actually reinforced my external self I am laughing, smiling, that I am happy but just feeling lonely One of the reasons, I got the dog was to treat some of my existential problems. I was told I was not sad but bored and had no responsibilities. When people say deal with issues, I have hard time understanding that. I think my issue is when I am sad I do not share it with people. It stem from lack of trust or being afraid of being accepted. I think no one would want a sad person so I share my happy side and then I forgot my sad side. I am more sad alone than when I am dating. If I go lower than the trust and not being accepted issue, I hit a block. Not sure what to do beyond that. Why don't I trust people or afraid to be accepted? Interestingly enough, I make friends fast and deep and trust them. Deep enough to share everything. I listened to people's sad stories. People sharing their sad stories with me. and I listening and helping others with understanding where their pain is coming from. dirty teens
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