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you want her to be and, that you've realized you need to negotiate how living together works for you in a couple. Perhaps if you say "I want to remain close to my friends and involved in things that I do on my own" instead of saying "you need to talk with other people ". I always hate it when people tell me what I want/need. I know perfectly well what I want/need. However, if someone owns what they want I am much more able to hear it. Just own what you want and let her be who she wants to be. Then, if she has trouble with you being away from her or if she fears that you be too intimate with someone you can deal with that issue when it comes up.. staying real and being honest isn't always easy or painless. There be tears and upset feelings but at least you both get to be yourselves. very naught datesFacts: We moved to a place I hate, so she could change her career (2-3 years to obtain a professional degree). She was well-aware of my hatred of this town. Her changing her career is important to me. I am a comic and variety entertainer. The move from a medium-sized metropolis, to a town about th its size would require me to travel to maintain the career. She was aware of this. One of her concerns about the original move, was the disintegration of our marriage, should I have to LIVE in this town. I made it known that I would travel, so I wouldn't have to put up with the stagnation. She offered zero resistance to this, at the time Money is tight. Really tight. We're struggling to stay afloat, while she gets finishes her schooling. In the proper environment, I can make more money in a single night, than I would take home on a biweekly check. This is something she has witnessed. All of my initial leads in this town, while encouraging prospects have fallen completely flat. Over the course of the last six months, since we've gotten the good news of her acceptance into school, the "requirements" for me to travel have changed. My last big gig was in October. Examples: I honestly NEED, at most, $ to survive on for a month of travel. This was "okay" at first. Then, she made it aware that she could, in no way be comfortable unless I had $ , just in case there is some sort of emergency. After working a bad job for a month, I had the $. I quit and told her I was ready to travel, and that I be traveling with a friend, to further offset the cost. For reasons I am unclear (past a fault in communications), she expected me to hold the job until March. This is after a conversation which included me saying "When I get the money to travel, I'm quitting." She offered zero resistance at the time of said conversation. After telling me I could start traveling in, she has now told me that she can't attend school unless I'm here, holding down a job for the entire 2-3 years. I can Find steady work. Travel after an ultimatum and her hopeful blessing. Travel without her blessing. Any thoughts? chat singles
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