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a nice guy looking for a friend maybe more I read here a lot but am quiet. Most times I good advice. Scenario: Two, been together for 12yrs age difference is 9yrs between us. Ups and downs. Lots of downs. Few yrs ago we split for a year and a half… his drinking became too much and escalated to much more. After a year and a half we got back together. It’s been good; he has tried super hard to be the person I want and need (and the -) for the past. I know his past and understand his struggles. (even before we were together) Problems or feelings that i have now: I reverting back to old ways. Doing less and less with the family, less and less around the house and less and less does he pay attention to me. Slowly drinking has crept back into the picture. I've pointed it out and he's tried to squash it but still drinks. I feel as tho he only wants to drink, not spend time with the family, not do normal things. Like go to the park, go to events in town, have fun together and not drink. I feel as though I do 95% of all the work around the house and with the. We both work full time jobs outside of the home. I tell him these things and he says I’m crazy and he’s a completely different person than he was before. Is that true, yes it is true, but i how easily this can slip back to the bad place it was before. I kinda feel like he is selfish and only thinks abt himself and not anybody. I voice this, and once again I’m looking thru the looking glass that is old and not of new. I tell him abt other areas i feel he is super selfish in and he says "Deal with it" basiy. Do you think that i dont give him enough credit for trying super hard, and for how far he has come and I am only focusing on the bad and not the good, or do I have legit concern? How hard is it to really forgive somebody for all their past deeds and make a new? Is it me who needs to change my outlook on our life? Maybe this is all rhetorical free adult phone chat Itaquaquecetuba
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Advice from my tipsy impassioned Mother, usually a staid PhD historian social anthropologist (my mother is truly not an alkie or an abuser, she does not drink every day and gets blotto on 2 glasses of wine) to my then 3 year old daughter who was throwing a tantrum while visiting her in LA years back and happened to be holding a little doll. "Let out your anger, -! THROW THE DOLL!!! THROW THE DOLL AGAINST THE WALL!!!" Luckily for her future imprinting of mothering skills, my then 3 year old just stared at my mother in disbelief and shock and held her doll tight- and shut up completely!!!!!! GO MOM*)! She actually tried to take the doll from and show her how to throw it (BAM!) against the wall, and then, of course, started crying again. *sigh* Whenever my Mom gets really pompous and intellectually arrogant my brother or I softly say in sotto voice, "Throw the doll against the wall, Mom!" to humble her- horny women Enid Oklahoma
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