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You have to accept that you ruined an 8 year friendship and it's never going to be the same. That's probably some crappy news but unless you can get back to purely platonic feelings and really convince yourself that her emotional issues are probably for the haul and won't resolve to enable her to be any kind of partner. If you can make it to that place maybe, probably not but maybe. Forget a relationship with her, there is nothing there for you. desparate house wife fantasyI certainly do not lack for empathy. What I am is bad at harnessing it and channeling it in appropriate ways. This is not a secret. This has never been a secret. Your example on waterboarding is an interesting one. Is a person who waterboards others to teach them what it feels like (you know for their own good) a good person? Or just a sick fuck who is simply perpetuating misery and wrapping it up in a nice story and slapping a moral bow on it to hide the act's true nature? Were the leaders of the Inquisition good people, because they were saving souls? Or were they just sick fucks? Both? Neither? Is a person who waterboards people because they think they're helping someone, and then stops when they realize it's pointless or wrong, an evil person? Or were they simply misguided at the time? I do think there is a real difference between doing harm unintentionally and doing it on purpose. One is unskilled, clumsy. Human and inevitable. The other is malicious and avoidable. Those are, for all their outwardly similar appearances (harm is being done), very different things. Perhaps I am mistaken, but this could certainly be part of what BogeyShooter was attempting to get across. The surface is the surface. There is always more than meets the eye. If you look at the heart of a thing and its bad nature, and you keep doing it what does that say? Have you not actually understood the nature of the thing yet and realized its badness, have you discovered the badness but not figured out how to turn away successfully, or have you discovered that you the thing and have no to leave it be? wants for a man
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