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spiritual, emotional and mental dimensions. Unfortunately, in these twisted times, sex has become corrupted as a power tool. The lasting accomplishment of the sexual revolution was to remake society according the desires of corrupted adolescent males, with plenty of pornography, easy women and disposable responsibilities. The dimension of the sacred has been lost, and people and their sexuality tend toward the profane. Sex should not only be an instrument of pleasure, it shoudl also be a means of spiritual elevation. Today, the caliber of mankind is sinking lower and lower, due in part to the crassness of our attitude to sex, in theory as well as in practice. Sex has lost its original sacredness. The original sense of reverence had for sex has been tarnished. Sex has degenerated into a mechanical nightmare. And this attitude to sex betrays a subtle violence, in the strict sense of the term. Sex is no longer an experience of. Sex is no longer a vehicle to sacredness. Sex is no longer a meditative act. And because of this, mankind is falling into the abyss. Unless and until we succeed in bringing to the act of sex, in imparting a spiritual syntax to sex, in coming to revere sex as the gateway to higher consciousness, a better humanity cannot come into being. Unless this happens, it is a certainty that the humanity to cmoe be worse than the worst, because today's inferior go through sex and produce worse than themselves. The quality of each new generation be worse and worse. We have already reached such a low level that there is, most likely, no further to descend. The whole world has nearly become a huge asylum already. pasco airport tall blonde blue suburban 4 9 13- asexual and kinkless, which shifted to radical lesbian feminist separatist and kinkless (you know, where orgasms come from the bliss of imagining a utopia populated by women holding hands and singing near and ferron songs in perfect -), which shifted to lesbian feminist submissive in training (extreme yet extremely desexualized immersion into the world of bdsm; submission and dissociation went hand-in hand, so submission could take on a very performative feel; NB: dissociation went hand-in-hand with all sorts of benign, day-to-day things), which shifted to longterm kinkless and monogamous lesbian relationship, which shifted to immersion in trauma recovery work and celibacy with everyone other than myself, which included a great deal of fantasy work, which then shifted to kinkless sexual exploration with men, which shifted to hardcore and heavily sexual D/s relationship/exploration/experiences with a in which i learned to identify and seek and engage the pursuit/satisfaction of pleasure (idiosyncratiy bundled in physical, metal and emotional terms), and which served to burn away the last lingering effects of trauma that no amount of talk therapy would ever touch, which led to a sense of independence, womanliness, curiosity and sexual agency wherein i am most keenly turned on by the thought of thoroughly kinked up play that falls outside the rubric of D/s power exchange. so. in hypercompressed sum: the thoroughly imbricated, non-causal, ourobourotic relationship between the complete shaking up of the sno-globe of my erotic/sexual orientation/identification/attractions and years of hardcore digging around in the muck of my psyche to eradicate or transmute every last shred of evidence of trauma-born terror. must launch into my day, check back later naughty mature
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