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you broke into the private affairs of your wife and now you know. You felt like there was something fishy and found out you were right to a certain degree. You know that at a minimum they were having a lot of contact, what you don't know is exactly where this was leading. One strong point you need to make clear in your head .while you had some responsibility in the troubled state of your marriage, you are in no way responsible for your wife's reaction and actions to that. How she dealt with her dissatisfaction with the relationship is on HER. Not you. You both need to own your own shit. What's most problematic is you know how your wife reacts to issues within her relationship..she seeks the attention elsewhere. She gets something out of this guy's attention. What are you going to do now? You know and you're hiding your bad behavior by trying to act like you don't know about her's. Come clean dude lay it out. WHY are you untrusting? TELL HER. Bridge the gaps of communication for fuck sake. She lie to you, she is perfectly willing to hide the truth and so are you. You felt she was lying you sensed it, you don't trust her so you checked and found out you were RIGHT and became a liar when you did. I'm not going to lie to you this 'confession' might lead to a complete breakdown and all the bad shit you are afraid of could come out of it. Anger, hurt and loss of the marriage yup, could explode so you better get another point straight in your head why confront and admit your deceptions? Well if I wanted to try and salvage a relationship I sure as hell wouldn't want to salvage a BAD one. A bad one SHOULD end and hopefully this is the catalyst for a GOOD one to begin. That is if that's your motivation. Make sure you state intention first if you're just trying to work around all this fuck that, you won't ever get a decent relationship. And the magic eight ball says the odds aren't real good so buckle in for some work long road trip to virginia beach this weekendNever, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP! Just because some people don't want to be around you does not mean you are bad. I don't know you, but I'll bet it's THEIR loss. Relationships? Different people get into, or decide not to get into, relationships at different rates. When I realized that my ex had taken YEARS from me, I made a decision not to give her any more by letting her have my feelings. It was very liberating. You can do it too. Not preaching here, but there is a Scripture that says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and they that it eat the fruit thereof." I take that to mean that what we say affects how we are. It is hard to be positive when all around us looks negative. Just remember, the negative is AROUND you. The negative is NOT YOU? We all have "tapes" that we play in our heads. Mine used to be very negative self-image tapes. One day, I decided to change the mental tape, and I began saying positive things about myself. It was hard. It took effort at first, but eventually the "positive tapes" began to come as naturally as the "negative tapes" had. My friend, YOU CAN DO IT!!! Is depression real? Absolutely. Is it tough to deal with. Often the answer is yes. Can you beat it? Without a doubt. I wouldn't tell you to "just get better" any more than I would say that to a person with a broken arm. They are both medical conditions. If you had a broken arm, it might slow you down, but you would not let it stop you. The tough thing about depression is that it affects the very that you need to use to fight it. (Ugh) internet online dating
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