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A wicked idea bubbled up from the depths and her heart raced ahead of her. She grabbed her cell phone and stared at it for a moment. Her gaze shifted to her reflection in the window, and back to the aperture on the camera. It was like a, twinkling little eye daring her to follow through on that thought. She flipped the phone open and switched it to camera mode. One picture captured her reflection perfectly and she hit send before she could chicken out. She followed up with a quick text to explain. “I have something to confess “ The reply was almost instantaneous. “You have my undivided attention.” She sat there a moment, cat half out of the bag, and debated how to move forward. Or even if she should. How could she explain something she barely understood? On the other hand, how could she not? Her husband would never let this go unexplained. Trapped between her fears and the sense of the inevitable, her courage fled. For a moment, she regretted her impulsiveness. It always got her in trouble. Her phone chimed again. "Well?" His impatience was palpable, despite their physical distance. She imagined his foot tapping, arms across his chest and a stern look on his face. Blocking her retreat. Her breath quickened at the conjured image, disturbing the butterflies in her stomach again. Fingers flew over the keyboard, as she let go of regret to seize her moment. "This is so embarrassing now. I dunno, I just started remembering things that I did when I was younger." "Things?" came the reply. "You know. Sex things" "You mean masturbation? Everyone does it, hon, nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about." If only it were that simple, she thought. "Well sorta but not really. It's weird and awkward and hard to explain." The text was devoid of the frustration she felt. It was like everything was jammed up and stuck inside her. lonely woman Ste-Thecle, QuebecFireworks in august. beautiful black women
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