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give me more than complaints of soda and ovaltine to convince me that those two things are breaking the bank. More so I'd say it's having 2 depending on two adults who only have one income. Things I think you could do: *go over the and ask him to hand over the finances to you *go over the and ask to formulate a plan that gives a light at the end of the tunnel for which all debts be paid and a nest egg starts, ask for half of the controls of the finances *re-affirm a vow to each other for financial solidarity in equal financial partnership *figure out a way to bring in some of your own income no matter how small (can you babysit other? work part time? do you have any special skills you could share with others like music lessons, tuturing, housekeeping, pet sitting?) I'm sure a decent amount of the problem is him fucking up but it's also you stepping up and stepping in. You can't sit back and passively let shit happen and it needs to be clear to him that neither can he. It also take tries to get through to him. So be prepared to have conversations with him and not lose your temper. You also have to creatively think about the solutions you need in place; like functioning on cash only, shopping differently, rethinking the reward systems you have at your house, hiding or cutting up the credit cards, only Christmas presents, shopping second hand only for a while. There should be no more "asking" to be involved in the finances, I would be flat out TELLING that I'm involved and I expect to go over the every single month. You are a SAHM, you ought to be able to get the mail easy enough and then funnel it all to your address. Part of this IS him fucking up but part of it YOU needing to take the reins. let s text or talk discrete woman wanted
And yes, so important to remember the Rule, "past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior". Also, to never make anyone your priority if you aren't his. That's the other point. Everything matters a lot more than I do. He doesn't even know that I was just diagnosed with a chronic health issue (MS), and that I am about to lose my job due to downsizing. I told him about both issues but he doesn't LISTEN, he only waits for the first to jump in and make every damn conversation about him and his needs. Thanks so much for your advice, compassion and hugs, Fallout. They were well spent, well received, and much appreciated. Here is what I'll do today: Research my legal options in regard to my marriage. Research info on my health situation. Re-evaluate my job situation, and how I ensure a stream of income if I lose my job. Have a great weekend! single white female looking for a friend and maybe moreIt's the only logical conclusion you could come too in order to make ends meet. You'll be saving the money you've been helping her out with and your wife be able to help your mom out all day -! Win-win. I bet in 2 months she be working full time. In all seriousness though, I do not think your wife change. I also don't think it would be wise to borrow from the -'s. The amounts you "get" now vs. what you get in the future is ridiculously low and depending on your tax bracket, you could pay around 25% of that amount in early withdrawal fees and your taxes. Could you sell your income property or are you upside down in your mortgages? Personally I think you are at that "shit or get off the pot" stage and you don't want to leave because of the (and the money) which only leaves one actual option. It sucks to feel like your damned if you do (stay and go broke) and damned if you don't (divorced and go broke). Looking at it that way though, either way, you are going to go broke. Do you want to do it with her or without her? How do you really feel about HER after going through all this? If you her and think you can respect her again, I say accept that she always be financially irresponsible and take over that part yourself. There are few perfect people out there, is this her one and only flaw? Is she a cheater? Does she berate you in public? Beat the? dating for parents
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