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Have you had other careers? I think and communication trump being down for everything that the other person is down for. You might compromise or even try a few things, and you or not like them. That is where communication comes in and you decide what is acceptable and what is not. If my husband wants to fantasize about someone doing a Steamer with him. Have at it, cause there is no way on the earth that I would be down to do that. And if it is enough for him to leave, I show him the door. **disclaimer, My husband is not into that. horney housewives in Dilmar"However, one person has informed me that the therapist's job is to let the patient become in whatever way the patient thinks is. So, on the one hand, it would seem that there is no external or universal standard of, that it is % relative. But at the same time another person has said that there are known best practices, another one said that there are people they personally would not because they could not give them neutral advice, another said that it was wise to have lots of options since people are different and "fit" matters in the relationship." So the patient comes to a therapist and says, "I am always spending all my money when I don't need to and I'm in debt and I don't know how to change this, but I want to." Now we have the goal of the patient. The patient's idea of "-" in this situation sounds like she wants to function inside her budget but doesn't. So she and her therapist explore that her behaviors behind it, her feelings behind the behaviors, etc. She come to the realization that she shops for things to make herself feel special so they try to come up with other ways to fill that space without spending her money. (Notice in no part of the is the therapist's feelings, judgments or even thoughts on the issue have any relevance to this process.) I'd the the run of the mill talk therapy. the terms "therapist" and "counselor" are often interchanged often incorrectly. Most often a "counselor" is not a licensed therapist, but a "therapist" or "clinician" is. It is the latter that most likely be following the best practices for a mental health therapist. Regarding "fit": therapy *is* a messy science because personalities are involved. So I not feel comfortable with a therapist who has a certain style or personality. Even though they act within the same set of guidelines personality leaks through. And styles. Within the practice I worked for one therapist's office had incense burning and big cushy chairs and cushions on the floor and another had a desk with two hard chairs facing directly at one another. Or within talk therapies psychoanalysis might annoy some (exploring one's childhood/formative years) or cognitive behavioral therapy might feel impersonal. sex encounters
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