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upset about me saying this, but a lot of the safe- and reference things are just what you are saying ways to expedite things when, maybe, just maybe, it's the attempt to rush in or go fast or skip steps, that is exactly the thing that people, especially beginners should be wary of doing. I have a pseudo-theory about this. You might like it even if it can't be proven. The theory goes that people become involved with BDSM/kink and believe they have found the holy grail or its equivalent. They get this huge burst of energy and excitement. They find whole parts of themselves they have denied. It is amazing. When people make this discovery, the first impulse they have is to make it all happen as much as possible. Moreover, whenever they find someone esle with whom they have these amazing experiences, they are led to think that there is a profound connection between them based on their sharing together in the holy experience of BDSM. All this is deceptive. According to the pseudo-theory, BDSM is actually a kind of holy thing, but it isn't the holy thing that everyone first thinks it is. It isn't holy enough to create a lasting bond for more than a few sessions. The energy crashes when you have a bad scene. And your mom still needs you to help her clean out the garage, while that report is due on Monday. According to the pseudo-theory, people mistake the energy of Kink as a balm of existence. Nothing can be this, though. It adds to existence, and does so in unusual ways, that are more about the way one finds oneself running out to the local drive to help flood victims, than that initial buzz that came with discovering its cool to be tied up, gaged and sodomized. I'm really glad you appreciated what I wrote. I almost didn't post it. Thank you, my sub-sister! bored looking for a 420 friendWhen I worked in security, we learned this fascinatingly simple thing they ed Escalation of Force (they even had a cute little professional poster like the kind we had in grade school, except about the proper way to beat people). Anyway, sometimes you tease me because you say I think you act too mean. So now I tease you for accusing me of acting too nice. I think in any situation there are *stages* of response that make sense. In a situation that begins at a low level, the response you detailed IMHO is too. What if the women wasn't even aware that she knew people, and all it would take to turn her to being pro rights was realizing someone close to her was a lesbian? In that case, the best thing you might be able to do would be to friend her and be out, and that could be all it took to open up her world. But if you start out at your stage, then you almost certainly guarantee that she hate all people forever, which seems counter to your stated purpose of having real multiculturalism (and not just some bullshit on paper that no one actually respects, like, say, civil rights for people of color if anything, libertarianism tells us that having big bro put things on paper is not the right direction to go about it). On the other hand, the dude in the bar who kept groping your friend deserved what he got, because a real, concrete person in his own sphere of existence asked him to stop what he was doing and yet he continued to physiy her. So fuck that guy. He started out at a higher level of force, and the appropriate response was in kind. single women dating
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