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I would like to answer your rock bottom question. She says she has hit rock bottom. I’m not sure I believe it. She still seems very dependent on me. She has yet to find employment. Until I her surviving on her own, I not believe her. She says she quit drinking in one sentence, but I hear her talk about “drinks”. Her messages sound drunk. To sum it up, she is probably skipping off the bottom at this point. How far she go up? Only time tell. I do not think that 2 days of communication is detrimental to the severance. Of course she weaseled her way in by asking for help with some legal matters she has to deal with. The “communication” started because I got upset with her that she s me out of the blue and doesn’t ask “is this a good time”. She expects me to jump. I told her that I had to euthanize the dog. I told her work is slow. The bills pile up. Life is different; you can’t “temporarily” live here because someone does now. My decision to change everything is checks and balance system. The wife cannot come back, period. Personally I’d rather not be the “friends with the ex type.” Those people always seem odd to me. Well almost all of them. I know very few that “friends” works or doesn’t seem odd. I have turned her down on meeting. I informed her to not just show up. I told her that I do not need a rollercoaster of emotions. The mistake I made was telling her I was lonely. Oops! Your side note/observation is good one. I really appreciate some people on here. Then I find that some, maybe unintentionally, transpose their bitter situation onto the OP and really don’t follow what anyone is saying. That would be similar to a therapist becoming a therapist because they are so messed up and trying to figure out their own head. Working with others not to help them, but to help themselves. Believe it or not, I am strong. I won’t be down by these people, but yes, I get really irritated by this type. You are right, it is more prevalent now. It is more so now than before because I’m sick of it. I have an in my head for intimacy. My question is, how do I turn it off? It’s really not as deep as some think. I know I am wounded. I know I don’t need to get intimate with these women. How do you turn off the subconscious urge to reach out? horney Lake Geneva ladies
Your gonna change your mind once you find out the burdens of doubt you are harboring were correct. If you have, you should wait two years to if this is really what you want. Your suffer more with your decision for divorce, than you realize. If you dont have, but youve been married for a while, then maybe you be able to move forward easier than those who do. For every years you are married, it takes one year to recover from the loss of a prior loved one. Maybe youve met another person, but they not be able to remove the you once had for your former spouse. The faces of the people you meet change, but the problem within you remains the same. Im not saying youre the problem, but you need to study what is motivating you to give up on your marriage? Are you being self absorbed? Are you being selfish? Is your happiness all that matters? what about the people withing your marriage circle? Why cant you put their happiness before yours? Good luck, and just know, that the right thing to do, is always the hard thing to follow through with. I got divorced unwillingly, and my exwife who wanted it, now regrets her decision. 13501 mature womanmost things in life, you decide the best you can given the facts you know. if facts change or you change, then you have to reevaluate your previous decision, a constant process and usually culminating in marriage or a mental commitment. if you have doubts they must be examined as whether they are true of your potential SO or are they your own fears or imagination. pragmatic view only, if you proscribe to the belief of the "one" now and forever, then i don't know. swinger clubs
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