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Short version: DH quit his job without consulting me and now wants to move our little family (us and 10m old -) several states away for a good job opportunity, but I want to be here. Advice? version: My husband and I are 30, married 4 years, and have a 10 month old. We have a generally happy marriage and DH is a good husband and father. He tries to do right by me and I to him. I am currently a SAHM, quitting my job after the birth of my to care for him since DH has much more earning potential in his career. We both grew up in LA and moved back here after college to start our lives near our families because this was (extremely) important to me and (to a lesser extent) him. We live close to most of our relatives (our parents, siblings, neices, nephews, extended fam) and we both genuinely like being close to them. Also, we bought a fixer-upper several years ago and have poured our hearts into it (with the help of my dad), and now live very happily in our quaint home. DH and I have our ups and downs, but usually have a damn happy home life and marriage. DH's work life is another story. DH works in tech and is a very smart dude. He did not get an MBA after college and is having a hard time career wise because of that. He was working at a small/medium sized company in a director level position, but was unhappy because the position was not challenging and did not have a distinct career path. The money was OK but we were having a hard time getting ahead after losing my income, although we do not have any debt beyond our mortgage and some professional debt. I knew he was not happy at his job, but one day a couple months ago, he came home and told me that he was put into a meeting that forced his hand and HE QUIT HIS JOB. He had two months to find a job before he would need to leave, but his last day was a couple weeks ago. We are OK financially until the, but he need a job. I'm still upset and having a hard time dealing with this. He has apologized and said he regrets his decision, but I feel angry and hurt that he made such a huge life decision without consulting me. I feel this move was risky and irresponsible (very unlike him), and it makes dealing with the following situation even harder (cont) girl having sex in Hubara As Saghirah"I know if he had the choice, he would chose to spend more time with me. I'm fully confident of that." I know a woman who stepped down from her high level position to work a lower level position; (this came with a decrease in salary) so she could spend more time with her family; because to her that was most important. I know a woman who took several years off work so she could raise her. I know a woman who went from working full to part time, I bet you can guess why- none of these woman were at all thrilled with minimizing their careers. so, because he is a, does this means that it is acceptable for him to put work first? bullshit. I'm sorry- I hardly ever curse but- this makes me soooo infuriated- if the situation was reversed and you were the one working 2 jobs and hours what would he be telling you? he does have a choice, dear; unfortunately, he is -choosing- to put his work first. and this wasn't exactly what you signed up for. when a is on the way sometimes unexpectedly it changes your life and sometimes certain priorities need to be established. he is certainly establishing his. -furthermore- by you saying he would do things differently if he had a choice, you are deeming him powerless to choose: you are supporting his behaviors, his decisions. the first step is for you to hold him accountable for the decisions he is making. asian women
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