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/ December 22, By MUGISHA /Kampala, Uganda WHEN Secretary of State Rodham announced this month that the United States would use diplomacy to encourage respect for rights around the world, my heart leapt. I knew her words — “gay people are born into, and belong to, every society in the world”— to be true, but in my country they are too often ignored. The right to whom we is far from our minds. Across Africa, the “gay rights” we are fighting for are more stark — the right to life itself. Here, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people suffer brutal attacks, yet cannot report them to the for fear of additional violence, humiliation, rape or imprisonment at the hands of the authorities. We are expelled from school and denied health care because of our perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. If your boss finds out (or suspects) you are, you can be fired immediately. People are outed in the media — or if they have friends, they are assumed to be “gay by association.” More benignly, if people are still single by the time they reach their early 20s, what Ugandans a “marriage age,” others begin to suspect that they are. Traditional culture silences open discussion of sexuality. I am 29. I grew up in a very observant Catholic family in the suburbs of Kampala. From the time I was old enough to have romantic feelings, I knew I was, but we weren’t supposed to speak of such things. When I was 14, I came out to my brother. Later, when others close to me asked if I was, I didn’t deny it. Though some relatives accepted me, I came out to the rest of my family slowly. Some simply chose to ignore the fact that I was, or begged me not to tell anyone, fearing I’d shame our family name. Others stopped speaking to me altogether. Africans believe that homosexuality is an import from the West, and ironiy they invoke religious beliefs and colonial laws that are foreign to our continent to persecute us. let me get you off with an erotic massageI make no excuse for spnynx's gender bias, as I've yet to any indication of it. Beware that eye roll, didn't your mother ever warn you they might get stuck that way? @@ So, forgiving her means giving her a free pass? She cheated must be taught a lesson? If he doesn't divorce her, she'll never learn? So, it's a public service? Well, anyone issuing a hard spanking should make damned sure their own hands are clean. He continually overrode her pleas for his time, giving himself a free pass to be for 1 year, starting 2 months after marriage, after 4 years of co-mingling families. Break that down by weeks, days, minutes/seconds; I'll leave the dramatics to a courtroom, or someone who loves math/has a calculator. Sphynx argued that his actions were tantamount to a bait switch. His DW repeatedly articulated her objections; he overrode her. It's as if changing her status from SO to spouse actually devalued her standing in his eyes. In frustration, she turned elsewhere, which was % wrong. But to be fair, he played a part in the harsh, but not unpredictable blow back. He didn't cause it, but he was a factor, and he owns this, as she owns her shit, which is a good start. He thought he had her tied down. She wasn't going anywhere. He could throw it in her face (and probably did) that he supported her in her dream, so she owed him. I say, that's apples oranges. Hers required far less time, she probably tended to the while doing it. It's hardly the same thing. Their top priority is to tend to the relationship, like 2 birds nurturing defending their nest, especially when little ones are nestled within. Marriage is no free pass. If anything, the stakes are even higher. Have they reached a point of no return? The OP's is that they can save this. You say they not only can't, but shouldn't. NOW who's showing a bias? I'm with the OP in hoping they can. Counselors follow THE CLIENT'S lead, not their own personal feelings/biases. Ignoring your SO. Bad. Ignoring your spouse. Worse. A wo/- is like a garden. Tend to it, it'll be more than happy to feed you. Ignore it, it'll get away from you. top dating websites
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