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Yazzy. I remember a lot more than I did before. I would have felt and embarrassed if it wasn't for you. I don't quite remember everything and I don't know what to do to find you. I already told my friend I would take his apartment out of town at the end of and I was planning on moving there in 2-3 weeks coincidently. I thought you would give me a by now. I thought you would show up and tell me what was what. But I guess you wanted me to figure things out for myself.. and oh I did. This game has gone on long enough. I know you like to torture me but I'm really not in the mood any more. I won't ever ask you for much.. But I need help finding you. If I need to cancel on my friend, I need to know soon. And I just need you now anyways. This weird shit was hard enough for me to deal with before I really knew what I was missing out on. But my steps turned in to man steps. I feel like shit for letting you feel less than the best. But where have you been? I've been waiting for you whether I knew it or not. And I have been obsessing about all this shit every minute of every day. I know its all my fault and I obviously don't blame you for anything, but I need you. I need to know how to find you. I need a chance to tell you directly just how much I care about you. I'm too anxious to enjoy anything. I can't keep a conversation with anyone. All I think about is you. As hard as these thoughts have been to manage for the past couple months, this past week has been the absolute worst. At first I was just psyched to remember how I felt whenever I heard your voice, Then I started putting more and more together, my house, NY, the phone.. Then I started worrying that I had hurt you or you away. I thought maybe that's why you haven't come to see me. Then I realized that my "memories" could be overconfident. Maybe I just felt like you cared more than you did. Maybe you aren't who I need you to be. Maybe you never cared. Maybe you want me to stay away. I don't know what you want and it's
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anyone want a good challenge that because you fantasize about it you must automatiy be bi, this is not the case. I'm a I have to admit I fantasized about sex with men would get very turned on thinking about it or watching porn. I finally tried it it was nothing like I expected it to be, I really didn't like it at all. I thought maybe it was just the guy or the situation so have tried a few more times but have never liked it doubt I would bother to try again. Therefore the fantasy doesn't mean anything if you don't like the reality. lookin for some fun fwb tonight and on going
Thank you for your good advice. In my opinion a lot of other people on here that responded really need to invest in some stool softener and not be so harsh! I only asked for "good advice only please" because there are so porn authors on here that have nothing better to do but write some nasty dialogue and don't have a clue about real life. I do that my original post sounded a little desperate and immature. I wrote it right when I was at my lowest point. Shocked angry (at myself) . and very deeply hurt. You I (we) are not in our 20, but more like 3 decades past that. That's why this hurts so bad. It's hard for me to find a I genuinely like, enjoy his company, and am very attracted to. I'm not a complete idiot. I do know it's his choice and there is absolutely no way I can make him want me .. I was just trying to reach out and if anyone had any ideas on how I could make him that he is making a mistake now. I would continue to be so good to him if only he would have allowed us to work this one first fight out . before he moves on to someone. I know me. I won't want him anymore after he's been with someone. That's just who I am. Anyway thank you for your advice. I do know it's the best advice. tonight and on going lookin for some fun fwb
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