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The abusive behavior during your marriage is still going on even though you're divorced., as I'm sure you know, is all about control. By ing you all the time he's trying desperately to on to some of that and you're letting him. don't!!!! You took a step in reclaiming your life by divorcing him, and that took guts, so don't stop now. Him driving by your house to "check" when you didn't answer is a HUGE tell! Putting on a show for your friends is fairly typical as well. It's purpose is to isolate you so you feel more dependant on him. And it's working. Tell him to stop ing you. Do you have? If so get them a cell phone that he can them on so he doesn't have to you. If he s your phone, don't answer. It's time for YOU to take control of the situation. It's your life, make it yours. If you do talk to him, don't cry. Chew on a towel if you have to but don't cry! If you do he knows he can still get to you. Would it be possible to change your phone number? I know that can be difficult but worth thinking about. Take the advice of some of the others and try to find new friends, ones that are all yours and support you (and not worry about his side of it). That all by itself can be very therputic. Just know that the more you pull away the more desperate he's going to become. It's the whole "it's gonna get worse before it gets better" thing. When he sees he can't control you anymore he'll most likely get more. Be prepared for that. We at the forum are here for ya, though. If you need to vent, build up some courage, or even confess something really embarassing, MOST of us are here to help and not judge. Good luck to you. Keep us posted! Orford islander friends
I cant myself "clinging" to anyone. If anything my insecurities push people away! I'm too independent. I agree I need to get a stronger sense of self, but I don't think therapy is an option right now. shag teen Fredonia WisconsinWith no disrespect to you, let me explain why I feel that I own my label. I spent years hiding the fact that I am a lesbian. I lived in misery and ashamed of the woman I am, for what purpose? It was for the sake of others, not me. A few years ago, I had some sort of enlightening experience, and decided to say screw it, I'm a lesbian and I won't hide it anymore. I'm living out and proud now, and feel a huge sense of relief. I'm finally the woman(in everyones eyes) that I had been hiding all those years. So, for me, it is very important to own my label. I also feel that the more of us that own who we really are, help the younger generations be free to be themselves right from the beginning of their lives. I don't run around town and shove my sexuality in anyones face, but if asked, I proudly say that I'm a lesbian. No more stuttering around the question of who I am! I would like being glbtq to be just as normal to the rest of society as being straight is. I feel that the more we label ourselves and show everyone that we're just as normal as our straight friends and neighbors, that we become the norm also. Staying in the closet or not being proud to stand up for who we are, not help us at all. Just trying to explain to you why I feel the way I do. I'm very passionate about this. Didn't mean to get you so upset. wants single
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