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but ultimately, with self-acceptance (and some time) comes confidence. the confidence to be able to 'shrug off' what that 'majority' thinks. you'll also find that more are accepting than you'd ever imagine. i still feel like you do when i first meet (straight) people, like they'll be weird about it. i've seen time and time again that so are not. i've never told anyone who's had a 'bad' reaction. the most annoying to me, is when i tell someone and they're like, "that's cool *i'm not,* but it's cool if you are " mostly because it makes me feel like they're worried that i think they might be. what shows me that someone is confident in themselves and our friendship is when they don't need to disclaim that they aren't. the friend of mine that i fell for is nowhere near 'adonis' either. it's not that odd. ;) you like the guy. he disarms your insecurities. you likely have something very similar to a relationship minus the sex. in my own experience though, any straight guy can have that kind of friendship. they make about 'bromances.' (that word annoys the hell out of me. haha!) but like i said, find at least one friend not even for anything, just bein a friend. it lets you talk and trust someone about things you feel you have to keep to yourself. it makes you happier with who YOU are. it help you realize that while your frienship with him is a great thing it isn't the 'only' thing. and i do suggest telling him that you're into guys. for one, if by some longshot he's into you but to to say it (kinda where you're at ;) it give him that opening. if he doesn't, it at least help you start to separate your feelings from your frienship. thick girl seeking sophisticated older swm to go out with tonight
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