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Could your wife get a job and your MIL watch your while your wife is at work? I think it is time for a sit down with the both of them together. Break out the spreadsheet and show them both the. Then say one of you needs to be getting a job to help out. If you phrase it like we are all in this together your wife might be more open to hearing what you have to say. If you are not demanding that your MIL leave then they both might decide that your not the bad guy. Have you looked into a Modification on your house? Has your wife's spending gotten any better. Can you show her how much her mom staying with you is costing all of you. Can you tell her that she has to reduse the spending as as her mom is staying with you? Maybe figuring out what you can live with and then talking with your wife first would be the best way to go. Once you are both on the same you can have a discussion with MIL. Are their anyother siblings who can help out. Can MIL go stay with one of them? Can the siblings help out with her car payment? granny fucking NewarkI agree with F_ADuck, you need to find a format to express your needs. Right now you are in a co-dependent situation, and you are carrying the burden. Somehow you need to start being who you need to be, and to vocalize your needs. Hopefully you can do this in a way that your spouse can understand without the spouse triggering off a panic reaction. I agree that a counselor can help you find YOUR VOICE in a manner that your spouse can hear it. It's better to do this, than to let the frustration build up to a point when you feel you have to get out. Hopefully you'll find a middle ground. sex ladies
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