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Your husband sounds similar to my boyfriend in the things that you've said he's said. My boyfriend has said he's always been a very indulgent person. I know he can be a sweet-talker. He's a very smart guy, very logocal. My best friends don't like my boyfriend because they think he's very manipulative. My boyfriend has said about his past, If he wants to do something he does it. He said this is why he cheated. Things weren't going as great as they had in the past with me, he made a new friend to confide in at work and it went to a level it should not have. He didn't think I'd find out. Didn't want to end it with me. Just thought, ” I'm going to do what I want and no one can tell me otherwise.” Now, after all our back and forth, up and down drama, he (and I) has said it's a matter of growing up. He's been cheated on, he's cheated on others. He's made decisions that ended up to be bad ones. He's put himself in the position he's in in his life he says. He says he woke up one day and decided this isn't where he wants to be in life. I don't know how or why he came to that conclusion. Granted, I do have my doubts he could just be telling me what he knows I want to hear, but I can him making measurable change. In all of this, I kept telling myself that I needed to do what would make me happy. There are people telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing, but it's me who has to do what's going to make me happy. I've got a friend telling me I don't myself and I don't respect myself, that's why I keep taking my boyfriend back. I say that's a load of garbage. Another friend says I'm just comfortable in my situation with him. Maybe, but I can him making changes. Yes, he still needs a bit of a push but it's not all going to be perfect over night. One step at a time. Cheating aside, I have decided to give him another (or two ). My boyfriend really does have the ability to make me happy and I feel he is really showing me that he can. I'm doing what is making me happy. You need to do what makes you happy. If sitting and talking to your husband isn't making him change his behavior, maybe another action needs to be taken. bowtie breakfast friend 42 Alliston 42
But that doesn't mean you have to shelve your desires either. Talk to her honestly about what it means to you. If it's something she can't deal with at the forefront of your sexual relationship, perhaps you guys are better off apart. But you have to make the importance of this clear to her before any action takes place. fort Dublin titsSay something like "I can tell things have changed between us and you are thinking about someone. My guess is you are feeling mixed up or you don't want to hurt anyone. But I feel left out and let down when you refuse to speak to me about this. I would prefer to feel upsetting feelings and deal with reality than be stuck with not knowing what's really going on. After 12 years of marriage I think I deserve that level of respect." If she's not willing to budge, she's being passive because she's afraid, then you take action and draw a boundary. At least you invited her to talk. africa dating
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