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just for fuck in 93021 shocked as you have a standing relationship/marriage? So mixing the $ with the kink I guess is an act of D/s or S/m ? Power exchange? I am having a hard time with understanding how it relates. I can only assume that it is a demonstrative omnipresent indication of his dominance over you, a reminder every time you use money? which is for me anyway something that happens daily unless I do not leave the property. I remember well what it feels like to be a slave to having to budget out of necessity,it did not feel good when there was nothing left and an embarrassing had to be made, That kind of situation made me very grateful for having a fall back but at the same time,I hated it. So I just wonder, does it manifest in a 'I need you I perish w/o you way' or perhaps in a 'He is taking care of me and loves me' way? I kinda don't get it but I know the concept cuts me to the quick and so I want to know. How does it, if at all enrich your kink? I know you cannot answer for him but I wonder about his perspective as well though I can more easily grasp that, or think I can.
*always* going to impact current relationships. Once the survivor's integrated her experiences into her past/life, she choose to move on. That's what therapy's for helping you recover, integrate and become a whole, functional person. Some survivors reach a point of wanting to leave past things behind. It's a coping technique they/we have a right to to say you are finally done with it, and that it have no more power over you. Everyone's a lil' bit kinky, or has things they enjoy or hate. All I expect my partner to tell me is "don't lick my ear, I don't really like that." And I won't do it again. It's not relevant *why* she doesn't like her ear (or whatever) being licked. I'll lick something -! If doing something wrong is going to trigger a crying jag in bed, and this is going to be an ongoing issue in the relationship, that's when disclosure is good if the survivor really wants to give the relationship a shot. Otherwise, not a whole lot of people are going to stay with someone who is unstable and unpredictable. BUT, I don't think she's obligated to disclose anything at all. After all, the other partner has a choice too. She can decide if she wants to stay with someone who obviously has issues and isn't communicating about it.
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