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like '-' is just a word, like 'sadness' '-' 'sorrow' are words. We know the meaning of these words not by intellect, but by feeling. I wrote a letter to my abuser, which I never sent, because it was more for me anyway, and I had some feelings I needed to sort out. In the letter, I expressed every thought, every cause and effect of his actions, every emotion, everything. And at the end of it, I felt forgiveness which didn't mean that what he did was okay, but that because of what he did, certain things in my life would never be the same, and that I was accepting these changes for myself and moving on. "I forgive you, but because of what you did, it's going to be different between you and me from here on out." Witney girls for sex-people who identify as bi based on but have never had a same sex relationship I know someone like that who is very apolitical and it only takes a few experiences or relationships to politicize an identity but it does take a few. I've had a few bad experiences as a bi person including one involving physical violence that make me realize there is a double standard even though I still benefit from it. I read an essay that suggested the double standard ( the glaring inequality in the way our relationships are valued and the way we are treated) is actually something that fires up some openly bisexual activists. If you think of people like Califia or Rockway there's a demand for equal treatment that could be seen as a positive side effect of straight privilege or straight entitlement. You experience the way straight people or straight relationships are treated and the disparity makes you angry and then you demand the same treatment all the time. It could go both ways. The ability to pass and unequal treatment might make some people want to pass to get the better treatment. But it might also drive other people to demand equal treatment no matter what. That's why I'm skeptical of identity politics. Because the experience of being perceived as having different identities ( bi people, trans people, gender conforming or "passing" people) might in some cases actually politicize some people even as it makes others apolitical. men seeking women
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