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45 yo lady posting today people assume of the time that a newborn be with the mother. Why does no one ever suggest that the father raise the? (BTW, I am female) Unless you plan to breastfeed, there is no reason the can't be raised and happy by either parent. is as much his as yours. Have you discussed this with him? The devastated feeling of being separated from your newborn must have occurred to you at this point of reading my post did you consider that he might have the same feelings? I'm not trying to convince you to give the to him only that you consider his rights and feelings equally with yours. DISCUSS it with him, don't just toss away the idea because you can't deal with the thought of being apart from your. I think you're right to split. If a deep and abiding does not already exist, then you two don't have a in hell of making this relationship work through the throes of raising a nor through any other curves that life throws at you (job loss, health issues, mortgages, meddling family, etc.) But I don't agree with the necessity of moving back closer with family while you get on your feet *unless*: (a) He's refusing to help you at all, and (b) It's been agreed between you two (or by default) that YOU raise the alone. Assuming, of course, that the same sorts of jobs and housing exist somewhere within your vicinity now (within a couple of hours' drive), it's reasonable to imagine that you might get on your feet right where you are. You'll just be sharing a place with him for awhile, instead of with family. Stay there, get a job and find an apartment, then move. As this grows, he or she need bonding and quality time, frequently, with both parents. and holiday visitations are NOT enough. Please consider how to make things work with both of you living near each other. Find a way. If it turns out you must move out of state, then speak with an attorney before you commit to that plan. In most states, you have the freedom to move before the is born, and even after birth as as the father hasn't yet taken legal steps to gain custody or visitation. Once he's filed, you're locked down in that state or face a court battle to prove why it's in the -'s best interest to take the far away from his/her father.
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