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Ok well, Please take time to read this. Especially if you are like me and a have never done this before..and are a real, good hearted person who has no intent to hurt anyone, yet are finding you , yourself are being hurt, by not having real passion and intimacy in your life at this time. As Life seems to pass, we find the things we regret the most are those we never allowed ourselves to be, to fear or to avoid..only to discover at different times for different individuals, we missed a chance to experience something that would fulfill an aspect of who we truly are. I am going to reach out here and see if I can find a women, who embraces this thought and maybe, just maybe, can take the hand of a passionate and deeply warm spirited man, and fly with me for a time..a safe, enchanting venture.
As I said, I am new to this too, so please know we would grow in comfort together on this. I am a married man, Same women for almost twenty years, we married young and in blissful naivety. But though now our needs for each other have changed and though I would repeat the whole thing all over again, We have come to place where we are very different. I am a very, passionate man, sexual, sensual, creative and optimistic. I am the chef, the tradition maker, the one who finds the humour in times of stress..the initiator, the deviant, the protector and the one who hugs, holds and embraces.
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The 19-year-old has friends (between 1 and 4 of them) over every day and overnight. That was not the agreement when he moved back in; but dad doesn't care and they all work nights so we don't each other much. It makes me uncomfortable having so people in the house all the time; but the kid lived there before I did and I'm really the newcomer, so I try to ignore my discomfort. And not wonder whose hairball is in the shower. Last night, I was saying I wanted for one night without any guests. Yes I had planned to do the usual homework with the youngest; and tried to get that done before I left. Youngest said his test had been rescheduled, so we moved the study night. He was supposed to bring home some back homework but had failed to do so. And we usually work on reading on Mondays. His dad has said to him times that he cannot go friends on weeknights unless his grades are all at least C I was just repeating. I had baked a cake and planned to have a family dinner; but I never know the 19-year-old's plans. Sure, I had games or cards in the back of my mind. But it would depend on what everyone felt like doing. I wasn't saying the oldest couldn't go or whatever he wanted to do. He's 19 and works, and gives his dad $ a month in rent. He's a free agent, at least in my mind. It's just all his friends living there that, makes me feel a little crowded, even though they are quiet and out of sight. Social anxiety, yes. I can it eroding away as I get used to having no privacy and no space. I was thinking I just need more time to adjust. Oldest (and friends) moved back in mid-December. And I did and do have a lot of work. It is crunch time. I had deliberately put it on hold and come home early to spend valentines with my BF. sexy Alco Arkansas girls
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