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last week fat adult ladies cen I agree with sf_atty. Everything you said was spot on. And Manogamust, in there. You're not wrong for feeling the way you do. I'm going to be 30 in a few days and I've always wanted what you are describing. Even after a 6 year relationship that was much loveless, a year relationship with an abusive alcoholic and a year relationship with a great guy who unfortunately wasn't out and loved to party. Throw in a year and a half of therapy (the best thing I ever did for myself) and you've got a 30 year old that is still searching for the answers. The difference now is that I don't obsess about it. I've finally learned that things are what they are. I enjoy life and know that above all Shakespeare was right, "To thine own self be true." Be safe and remember to breath.
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