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both of you can't be leaders, nor followers. One of you has to choose to be the follower. In your situation, it seems to me you expect her to be okay with giving up her dreams to follow you, but you're not okay with doing the same to follow her. So your screenname "2face" is appropriate. It HAS to be one or the other for any marriage to work. Power-struggles are infinitely difficult to overcome when both of you are determined to be the leader. Not impossible, but very very rare. Choose to lead, and maintain what you've got now on the West Coast without her; or choose to follow her where she goes. It's that simple, and that difficult. i still love you 58
about Oregon. I have lived losts of different places (maybe not as as my age) and where ever I am I tend to say "well in Oregon they have " I am on the east coast and I am soooo homesick for the west coast. I try living in Portland when I go back. vici Hampton swingersmy, so I'm immediately thinking "hmmmmm " Sure enough, I was being dumped, albeit in a very polite, non-demeaning way. Said he likes me very much, very attracted to me blah blah. Said he'd been feeling awkward.. had to thikn about why. Realized that he "has to leave his job" (which involves travel, and required that he be based in Manhattan) he'd previously mentioned that he was going to retire in a year and that since he'll be leaving his job, he "must leave NY" I always got the sense that his NY apt. was just a crash pad for his job, and that his "real home" was his other place in a neighboring state, where he often went on weekends, but where I'd never been. He had also previously made veiled comments about someday moving back to West Coast where he's originally from, so I think by saying he now has to leave NY probably includes selling his home in neighboring state, and heading back West. So he said that he realized he shouldn't start something with someone in NY. Then added that he wasn't so sure we had enough to sustain a relationship anyway. I'm just really confused. If he'd said that he didn't want to me anymore cuz I didn't seem that into him, or he was getting mixed signals from me (due to my lack of "positive feedback" when he'd try to be a little touchy feely), that I could understand. Can guys be just as confused as women? Maybe it was about my lack of affection towards him but he didn't want to come out and say it, so he came up with other "excuses"? Or maybe he sorta did want a relationship with somebody even though he knew he'd be moving, and then for some reason he decided to move sooner, maybe BECAUSE I didn't seem into him? I always seem to try and rack my brains figuring out why men say certain things or do certain things, but I suppose men do the same thing about women? Maybe the one universal is that no one should ever try to figure out another person? That you can only take what they say at face value that you have no other choice? personals date
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