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I don't know what Kansas City has to offer but it seems like she could use a Community Support team. One technical suggestion for you if you do want info from the "Med Center," ask her to sign a Release of Information form that them permission to share info with you. This should not be on your shoulders, I think it's wonderful that you want to help her but you shouldn't have to and she sounds like she needs term priofessional help, not just a caring "friend." What she needs is a good Community-Based support team who can visit her in her home and help her with her day-to-day tasks like shopping, and help her manage her benefits. If she were in Chicago I would know EXACTLY who to refer her to but I don't know what the MI community is like in KC. I think her family's behavior is sickening. One of the most frustrating parts of my job is having to be nice to parents who and ask me to house their because they "just can't deal with them anymore" and then get all snarky and demanding with me when I tell them I don't have any housing options available other than a waiting list for a subsidy they not even qualify for. I know how difficult and stressful and heart-breaking it can be to deal with a family member with severe mental illness but the "s/he's YOUR problem now" attitude I get from families makes me want to reach through the phone and knock some compassion into them. This is EXACTLY why we need better funding and better public education for community mental health services. People with mental illnesses should have access to propoer community services and be able to live independently with dignity and not have to lose contact with their families because no one knows how to manage their care. Sorry, sorry, rant over I promise. Anyway, I'll if I can look up any good community support agencies in KC, in the meantime best of luck to you and "-." sex dates RossettHow much do you value your sexual gratification/exploration? How much do you value your wife? How much do you value honesty? Depending on your answers, you choose to: 1. Deny/repress your urges. 2. Cheat on your wife. 3. Tell your wife about your urges and if you can negotiate terms under which you can expore them. 4. Divorce your wife without telling her the real reason why. If I were you, I'd choose #3. It sounds like your marriage is at risk either way you slice it. You can risk your marriage by cheating and possibly/probably getting caught. You can risk it by repressing your urges leading them to manifest in unrelated and messy ways, perhaps becoming depressed, perhaps becoming angry with your wife for "holding you back". Talking to your wife about your urges is also a risk. She might flip-out. But it's a risk that shows her respect. It's a risk that allows you to be honest. It's a risk that just might have a good outcome. I have a friend who was in a similar dillema. He chose option #2 cheating on his wife. She caught him. Fortunately, it didn't destroy their marriage and they now have form of open relationship, she's even taken the opportunity from the incident to tell him that she is bi too. BUT, he's never lived-down his breach of trust. She exercises a kind of control over him based on his guilt for having cheated. In practice, their open relationship is not quite equal. She goes and fools around with girls freely, but his ability to fool around with guys seems signicantly less free. She kind of freaks out about it. I'm sure their relationship would be far more comfortable had he chosen to talk with her about it instead of cheating. married chat
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