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But as stated in my above response to F-G, we have two small dogs that we are both attached to and I would never keep him from seeing them. When I think in terms of "deserting" him, I do so because I would not leave our apt- he would. And he would go back and live with his mentally ill, addicted, alcoholic mother. Just being around her would probably send him back into a full-blown relapse that would land him in rehab, jail, or a grave. I don't think I'm ready to make the move that enables that change in his life. I him, certainly, and I do not want to him go down that terrible path. And since he is unemployed, he doesn't have other housing options that I can think of. I know I need to put myself first but I don't feel I'm ready to kick him out yet. I don't understand his decision not to engage in his hobbies.. I think they are anxiety reducing but his depression zaps his motivation and when he can barely motivate to get in the shower, playing guitar or writing music..well, that probably takes more motivation than hopping in the shower. i'm sorry if i made it sound like he has no interest in improving. He DOES want to improve. He wants nothing more than to have a relationship with me, to contribute, to get, to quit smoking, to do all the things he used to to do. He never learned coping skills and being without a good therapist and not being properly medicated, well, that seems to be a big hurdle to learning coping mechanisms. looking for play boy sex
here early tonight. There be a wonderful display as they dine on insects just over the wood outside my balcony. Living here in a town ed. Mostly all you can hear is traffic outside and airconditioners, but interspered there are the songs of birds. Some are my finches, 15 of them specifiy, all the others are free outside the cage living right outside there. Kingbirds on the wires, cedar waxwing, occasional blue, cardinal. Ah, the grackel and mockingbirds and doves just ed in. When marriage and ltrs are so important and rightfully occupy a central place in life, i am here to tell you that the birds can take the place of someone you if and when they are gone. That is if that person is not quickly replaced, which happens more often than not. There are human songs like: hurts .and, the first cut is the deepest but, you know, for me the first is the right. Our fine are now in their middle twenties, about the age i found that my dearest found our back door and left while i had the chillens at the. Apparently she had developed an alternate scenario in her heart that needed me to kinda disappear. Ah, the late eighties. Can i tell you, it cost less than $ to get divorced back then and there was no support etc in our case. I just got custody, she was gone on some dates. She visited often enough. My point is, tonight, as I strum my guitar neath the wind chimes and listen to the air conditioners down below, I be thinking of her and all the specific bird types i recognize these days. Time is such a divine luxury. Last night at dusk I counted eleven nightjars. Keep your, accept a good life, know birds. swingers en las Taiwani'm reminded of fav i play on my guitar by garcia, kreutzmann, and ed -'s tower: your eyes looked from your mother's face In another times forgotten space Your eyes looked from your mother's face Wallflower seed on the sand and stone the winds blow you safely home. Roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew I'll tell you where the winds dwell In -'s tower there hangs a It can ring, turn night to day It can ring like fire when you loose your way. Roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew God save the that rings that It have one good ring, you can't tell One watch by night, one watch by day If you get confused listen to the music play. (instrumental) Some come to laugh their past away Some come to make it just one more day Whichever way your pleasure tends If you plant ice you're gonna harvest the wind. Roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew In -'s tower the winds sleep Like hounds the lighthouse keep Wildflower seed on the sand and wind the winds blow you home again. Roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew You'd better roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew Roll away the dew You'd better roll away the dew roll away. free sex personals
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