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have agreed with have had some decent suggestions cleaning person, date nights, ect But in my opinion, facing the real issues is being avoided. This isn't about only paying attention to you when he wants sex or housework..those are symptoms. If you only try to address those the underlying disease resurface. This is about you feeling unappreciated. I'm betting he's kind of feeling the same way, you aren't really giving him credit for what he DOES do and visa versa. In how you approached perhaps seperating you blame him for not telling you he's unhappy but no where do you mention telling him how unhappy you are. You say he won't voice his concerns and yet "appears" unhappy. All that should be addressed before you continue with marriage plans and you should insist on answers in order to continue. Not insist on the answers you want and he doesn't have to answer but if he wants you to stay he has to agree to answer your questions and that sword cuts both ways. You have to be willing to answer his. if you can take your initial post and word it in such a way that you place no blame, that in each paragraph you focus on how your choices shaped where you are, not his, yours. where YOU might be able to change..because it's the only thing you can. Like I said in the viper pit, that does NOT reduce his responsiblity for his actions but to fix this each must focus on their own. i m here for whatever you want done 1 guaranteethere is always some risk involved with oral sex for some STDs . although significantly less than anal sex. If you are super concerned, you can always use a rubber. There's no particular etiquette or protocol, per se, about inquiring into STD status. I'm quite blunt, however, and just come out with it "What is your status?" or "Do you have any STDs?" is fine, IMO. Bring it up whenever you feel comfortable doing so. Also, use your judgement. Obviously if the guy has sores on his penis you probably don't want to be going down on it. Everyone also has their degree of "comfortability". Some guys allow men to cum in their mouths and feel that to be "safer sex". It is safer, in one sense safer than anal sex. Would I do it? No. Not unless we were both tested and were in a committed and monogamous relationship. It's complex, as you can. If you're doing on-line meet-ups, you can also write, as do, "HIV Neg", "Clean", "D/D Free" (disease and free) and the like. However, there is always the that your prospective partner could lie or not know. Should not be this complicated but it is. If you want to e-mail me with further questions, feel free. Best of luck to you in this endeavor. I imagine it is fairly exciting. mature woman
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