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We were accquaintences, I guess you could us friends, although we'd never spent any time together alone before. We were always part of some kind of group, he's "the quiet one". I'd noticed him in "the scene" (yes, I hate that phrase), a few years ago. It started when he wasn't even local, but I'd stalk his FetLife profile, feelling this urge to know this. He moved up here a couple years ago, and I approached him for friendship, knowing that we knew a few of the same people. He made me nervous, intimidated. I was also so intrigued by him. I felt he knew something, something special, like he had secrets that I wanted to know. We never explored any of that and I got involved with someone for almost 2 years. He had a party last weekend at his place. There were people playing with needles, being whipped, spanked, etc. I was with another friend of mine, I was his date for the weekend, so I tended to him like I should. All the while "the quiet one" was drawing my attention again. He'd been through some rough times, and I had this undeniable urge to take care of him. I found little things to do that weekend to maybe ease some of his stress and show my affection for him without failing in my original priority which was my play partner. hot older woman Umatilla OregonJust wanted to say I missed this whole thread this afternoon while you were here, but my heart goes out to you since I found it. This is a horrible struggle you're in, and I can understand why you think there's no way out. You mentioned in your first sentence that you're afraid there be something chemiy wrong with you. Well, possibly but not what you think. Extreme stress and depression can alter our chemical states. It can have the effect of making one indecisive, emotionally numb, and psychologiy fragile. Please DO your doctor for some help. It's not shameful or a sign of mental illness to need some help for a bit. There are safe, proven available to help you through this and without that support, you could dive deeper into depression, suicidal thoughts, and even have real physical illnesses. Please, go get some help so you can cope and think. I've done it, once, during a very bad time in my life. It helped me feel much better, until I could get a grip on things and didn't need it anymore. Second, please consider what's least traumatic and stressful for your. As he gets older, he'll continue to have accidents. The more your husband beats him, the more he'll have. Then you risk also broken bones or a painful death. You MUST find him another home try rescue shelters, friends, neighbors, family. As a last resort, consider holding him lovingly while the vet puts him to sleep. That's a far better and more humane passing, in the arms of one who loves him, than at the hands of his abuser. It doesn't hurt at all. I've had to do this twice and both times, my dear beloved pet just calmly fell asleep and it was done. The greatest pain was on ME but I knew my dear one was free of pain. don't go alone, please take a friend with you. I won't tell you to leave your husband, although that's a sane response you've heard that so much already and you know it's the right thing to do. But I *DO* know this is probably the hardest decision you'll ever make. Just take steps to strengthen yourself and protect your, and little by little, the right decision for YOU reveal itself. You'll know it's right. I don't know whether you'll leave in a fright, or planned out when you can make a quiet exit but please prepare yourself and the. don't wait. E-mail me if you like. free adult cams
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