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Missing In Action m4w I feel pathetic sometimes when I reflect on how long it's been. But then I remember that I don't give a flying f because I am who I am and I feel how I feel. I need to get over you but you are everything I care for in a lady and so hopelessly rare to me. Unfortunately our relationship was doomed from the start- both starts- due to my addiction(s). I wish I had just one day to show you the real me. To show you that you didn't choose wrong with me, but rather came into my life at the worst of times. But unfortunately with all the bullshit and hurt I caused you, what hope could exist for such a chance. I don't know why I am writing this today or now when I live nowhere near you, but I spend a lot of sleepless nights imagining life as it could, and I think should, have been. I can be a really sweet guy when I'm not using, and today that is a gift I am afforded. But it seems a gift squandered without you to share it with. I felt a huge weight lifted from me the day you waved from across the street and we took that walk (after an initial near panic attack). Yet that moment was fleeting and as soon as it was over I seemed the worse off for it. It was but another tease of what I was missing, of whose arms I desired around me. And so began the depression again, like a wound reopened. If nothing else, I would seek the comfort of knowing that you are truly and spectacularly happy today. As happy as I should have seen fit to make you if only judgement were not previously clouded by addiction.
Much love always,
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- was a craftsman. No – he was an artist. He was good with his hands, he’d always loved building things, making things – and he’d always been fascinated with kink … with SM, with BD … and all the associated tools and toys. He was satisfied – maybe even proud – with the life he’d built for himself … producing high quality, hand made tools and toys for the kink lifestyle. It had been difficult at first, but after so years, he’d cultivated a reputation that allowed him to not only maintain a shop but charge premium prices of his kinkster clientele. But this latest job was giving him headaches. The woman client had requested he build a “Bird-Cage” type male device. Not a problem – he’d built kinds of creative and inventive male devices in his career. Except she’d said, “Build it out of this,” – handing him a fist-sized lump of strangely luminescent material. He’d worked with all kinds of materials – leather, metal, plastic, steel but he’d never seen anything like this. But this was a challenge, and he set to work. The material was tough to work with – breaking of his saw blades and drill bits and chisels … until he learned, finally, how to master and manipulate it … and he produced, finally, the, the product, the male device his client had requested. And finally, she returns to the shop to collect the thing she’s paid for. He can’t quite pinpoint her name or face … but she looks really familiar – not that he would expose her – discretion is a huge part of his business, what with all the celebrities and politicians who frequent his shop. She pays in cash – thousand dollars! Not a trivial amount. After laying all that cash down, she tucks that little widget he’d worked so hard to make into her purse and turns away, her nose, her, raised high in some kind of smirking superiority. moments later, after he’s closing up the shop, recognition pops into his head – she looks just like, reporter for the Daily Planet! mature need sex Canyon Montana
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