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Depending on where you live, there are local BDSM groups. They often have social get togethers ed "munches" and some of the more organized groups have websites and do skill seminars or conferences. If you e "bdsm checklist", there are a bunch on line. Find one you like, print it out, and both of you do it and trade. People with interests in the dom/sub stuff are individuals, and everyone likes things differently. It helps to have a common place to start talking. I'm a switch. One of my subs would write a journal. That helped me get feedback (she was shy about direct talking a lot of times) about what she liked/didn't like/tolerated because I enjoyed it/never wanted to do safeword city. Since I couldn't read minds and what does being a sub mean to her? There is so much variance out there. that helps! Feel free to post questions or read archives on this forum. looking for dirty old man in 91208Here is how I it- I am a regular lurker and sometimes contributer. I have top posted and responded and never really had a problem with the regulars slamming me. Your posts seem to be designed to draw attention/manipulate attention in your direction. Even in these initial posts here indicating that you changed your handled ended with something along the lines of- there is a story here..ASK ME ABOUT IT! ASK ME, ASK ME .And quite frankly, attention seeking and manipulation is exhausting to deal with. It is a high maint. behavior whether it is on or off line. Your other posts about marriage equality came off to me as condescending. Your whole "I am being shrewd" is more of an example of this. Its a cover for something. I don't know what-maybe insecurity. Its okay. But own it- you didn't come in here hoping to be shrewd. You came in here hoping to find a community- you said this before. So which is it? Be confident in yourself, be your own person, be open to listening and engaging. People respond if you write something that interests them or moves them and you answer them. don't leave things hanging, like oh, there is a story about little old me- if you care at all you ask me about it. Its manipulative behavior. Just like in real life. And honestly, in a forum, you are going to be hurt if you are basing your self worth (or online self worth) in whether or not you can educate people. Some people are just like that- you could say the sky is blue and they would say it is green But I am curious- did you really believe that coming into a space for queer woman and posting about marriage equality was going to help you understand why "they" are against it? japanese dating services
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