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I agree with you that it hurts to be rejected, whether it happened after one date or after months of dating or even, in some cases, months and month of dating. I think the hurt is less about the number of dates we've had with someone and more about the expectations we had about the relationship. I think the simple fact of the matter is that dating sucks. You have to have a really tough skin. You have to be ready to encounter rejection again and again. And I think it helps to be really flexible. What I mean by that statement is twofold: you have to be able to bounce back after a rejection and also, you have to be flexible in terms of what you are looking for. My own take on dating is that it is a lot like trying to find a job. It's a game and the more resumes you put out there, the more interviews you'll go on and the greater your be of landing a job. In the dating world, you put your resume out there by showing up in a setting where you might meet someone, placing an online ad, walking up to someone you think is hot and introducing yourself, etc The equivalent of an interview is, of course, the date itself. And sometimes we're all gonna have a bad date. But sometimes, we'll have a good date and he'll want us and we'll want him. Now, some people get lucky because they are exceptionally good lucking AND exceptionally good at connecting with other guys. But most of us have to work at it because we only possess one (or sometimes neither) of those traits. I know the analogy is cheesy, but I think it works. I totally know the feeling of being hit on by hot guys for sex but finding that the only ones who want me for a relationship are guys to whom I am not attracted physiy or guys whose lives are a mess. I wish I could figure that one out, but I don't know the answer. Sorry. I have a few more comments about this, but I'm reluctant to post them here on the board. If you want, feel free to contact me through the e-mail on this profile. Put RescueDogMike in the subject line so I'll know it is you. man 35 Merriam seeking femalei don't think that HE can fix it. It sounds like a problem that she has, separate from him (unless of course, he is flirting or acting in a way that would give her reason to believe he is cheating). Has he been searching dating sites or looking for flings online? Has he been contacting old girlfriends or responding to casual encounter ads? if the answer to all of these is no, then SHE needs to put some effort into repairing the relationship. if she is refusing to talk about it rationally, and refusing to go to therapy, then i don't what can be done. sounds like she doesn't WANT to fix this problem. and 3 weeks is a while to go on about this. i she either regains her senses or he gives her an ultimatum. casual dating forum
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