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Why do some men feel it's cool to lay up with a married woman? Why do some married/involved people of EITHER sex think it's cool to betray their vows/commitments to lay up with an outsider? Your question makes it sound like you want to blame the other woman for your troubles. It's rather more the responsibility of the committed person to exercise self-control, I think, though both parties are somewhat to blame. (There is also some blame to share for the "innocent" spouse on occasion, because sometimes that betrayed party has been sticking their head deeply in the sand for a time, neglecting the sex life or ignoring other signs of unhappiness or trouble, or even selecting a chronic philanderer in the first place and refusing to notice or admit it.) But to answer your question with the gender bias, some likely reasons are: 1) ego boost of chipping off some attention from a person who's already committed; 2) fear of or lack of interest in commitment on one's own part, so a married person is "safer"; 3) an assumption that "all the good ones are taken", so you have to try to steal someone -'s to get a good one; 4) the thrill of the forbidden. mature Hudson clps wanting sex
And people hate things/people that are different. The same defect in human psychology that has a proportion of hetero men and women hating gays for doing something that turns them off has a similar proportion of men and women hating bisexuals who find sex with the opposite sex arousing. horny girls of Zimbabwewhether I should respond to this post. I suppose I'm embarrassed myself because I've been in the same situation for a little over six years and it does fuck with your self esteem. It becomes difficult to experience yourself as an attractive sexual being and your sexuality is such a wonderful part of yourself it extends beyond the act and flavors the way you interact in other circumstances. Just as not having it changes the nature of your relationship. The creative beautiful force that is sexuality has an important and valid place in your life. It is Okay to want it and it. I have gone around in circles just as you have and asked myself all the questions other people are posing. Obviously I've chosen to stay, she is my wife, life has been hard for us and I believe that there is something more that we can become together. Although I am a lot older than you I also feel as if I am “stopping my sex life before it started”. My partner and I are priests in our ancestral tradition, we are parents together… these things along with my dwindling belief in my sexual value, intensify the pressure to work it out. I’m sure If I was your age I would have left. I have no wisdom for you, I’m still working it out. I can’t say yet whether the pressure to stay has been a blessing or not. It is still a work in progress. I say, consider that the problem could be physical, she should talk to a doctor about it, there are physical changes or imbalances that can effect a person this way. Consider whether it is psychological/emotional counseling together and apart could be helpful. Do understand that this is a problem that either she is going to have to also identify as a problem and choose to work on with you. Or that you have to resolve without her which in my mind means leaving. Also understand that even if it is a physical problem, sex is never just sex. My partner and I have tried creating days /times/dates to be romantic but we found the intimacy /trust/self esteem has been lost in the process and needs to be rebuilt. Also understand that her self esteem be just as effected as yours. She also be embarrassed and or not have any understanding of what is going on with her. Good luck and remember that there is nothing wrong with you. hot single women
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